


A Hot Mess

by Peetabreadgirl



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-04-10 09:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peetabreadgirl/pseuds/Peetabreadgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss finds herself in a hot mess when Gale comes looking for a second chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Big, Fat Favor

**Author's Note:**

> So I ran across these fake engagement prompts on tumblr, and I thought it would be fun to try and piece them all together in one story. I have NO business writing new stuff since I have unfinished biz over at Mile High and Stranger Things, but life has been a crapshoot lately and I just want to. Indulge me, please! There will be one short chapter a day until it's done, a new engagement shenanigan for each update. Thank you to jamiesommers, titania522 and katnissdoesnotfollowback for reading and beta work. Any mistakes are solely owned by muah.

Thumbing distractedly through the dog-eared pages of her roommate, Annie’s, latest copy of _Brides_ magazine, Katniss tossed it atop the coffee table when she heard the harsh knock on the front door. Her stomach knotted up when she spied the familiar tips of Peeta’s blonde curls through the diamond shaped window. She had been thinking since yesterday of how to ask Peeta for a pretty huge favor, and she hoped Peeta would help her out like he always had.

 

Katniss pulled the door open and instantly her heart lifted at his expression. His face broke into the wide grin he always save just for her. He stepped in the apartment when she moved to the side, her silent offering of access.

 

“So where’s the fire?” he asked, still grinning and rubbing his day old scruff. Katniss had always thought he was attractive, but she preferred the baby smooth skin of his cheeks and perfect shaped jaw after he had shaved. She had sent him a message that she needed to talk to him and how it couldn’t wait any longer. It had been on her mind for over a week now, and it had caused a few sleepless nights.

 

“Well, you may want to sit down.” Peeta’s grin faded and concern took over his features. “No one died, and we’re still best friends,” Katniss assured him quickly, taking a seat on the sofa and patting the space next to her twice. “I just have a favor to ask and I wanted to do it in person.”

 

“Katniss, you don’t have to ask for any favors. You know I’ll do it, whatever it is,” Peeta replied, shrugging as if helping her were as common as brushing his teeth or eating. Katniss loved that Peeta was always ready to do whatever she asked. She took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she was about to say.

 

“You know our ten year class reunion is coming up, right?”

 

Peeta nodded his head. “If you don’t want me to go-”

 

“It’s not that,” she interrupted calmly. “Do you remember the time Cato Roberts asked me to prom and I told him I already had a date, and then you offered to be that date so I wouldn’t look like a liar?” Katniss asked, pausing to let the memory sink in, then continuing when Peeta was silent. “Or that time Darius from parks and rec kept asking me out and he just wouldn’t stop, and you pretended to be my boyfriend so he would leave me alone? Or when that horrible employee, Marvel, kept checking me out when I would come into the bakery, and it made me uncomfortable so you kissed me on the cheek one day and put your arms around me so he would get the picture?” Confusion was etched across Peeta’s brow like an inscription in precious metal.

 

“Yes, of course I remember, but Katniss, where is all this coming from?” Peeta questioned.

 

“You know how Delly roped me in to helping plan the reunion? It’s not exactly my thing, but she can be so annoyingly persuasive,” she said, and Peeta laughed lightly. “So I kind of have to go. I wouldn’t otherwise.” She paused again, long enough for Peeta to reach for her hands, comforting her as he rubbed his thumbs across the backs of them, waiting for her to continue. “Gale’s been calling me,” she blurted out finally. Peeta’s hands stiffened in hers and she could see tension creeping into his jaw. She knew there had been something between the two men - boys at the time - her best friend since they were five, and the ex-boyfriend of her last two years of high school. Peeta had never talked about Gale, and Gale never brought up Peeta when they had been together, so she had no idea what went on between them. But whatever it was, it was at least obvious to Katniss the effects of it still lingered.

“So, what favor is this? Are you asking to pretend date again so Gale will leave you alone? If so, then count me in,” Peeta said assertively. Katniss drew in another long breath. She hadn’t had to breathe this much and this deeply since lifeguard training her junior year of high school.

 

“Actually,” she began hesitantly, “I told Gale we were…” she exhaled. “Engaged.” Peeta’s face was uncertain, as if someone had just told him his dog died and he didn’t believe it.

 

“You told Gale we were engaged?” The dismayed tone of his question slapped Katniss in the face. She had known it would be a lot to ask, but she hadn’t considered Peeta would be upset about it. They had done enough fake dating to help one another out of weird or uncomfortable situations in all their years as best friends that she thought this would be just another one of those times. Clearly, by the look on his face, she could tell she may have overstepped the boundaries of their friendship.

 

“Ummm, yeah, I did,” Katniss admitted, focusing on some dirt that had embedded itself underneath her fingernails. Never had she felt this anxious in front of Peeta. They were the best of friends, closer even than she and her sister, Katniss thought. They knew each other’s favorite everything - color, food, music, movies, drinks. Katniss even knew that he preferred boxer briefs and Peeta knew that she preferred boring cotton panties and bras. She had the only spare key to the outside entrance of his small basement abode at his parents home in a quiet neighborhood across town, and he had a set of keys to her used but new-to-her Chevy Malibu that was two shades darker than the color of Peeta’s eyes.

 

Katniss could see he wasn’t taking this well. “I was going to tell you sooner-”

 

“ _Tell_ me?” he snapped, his voice elevating slightly in volume. “You were going to _tell_ me that we are engaged?” Peeta stood, one hand going to his hip and the other in his hair as she watched him pace the small living area. They had done this sort of thing before, and it had always worked out. Katniss felt flustered at his reaction and couldn’t help lashing out a bit.

 

“It’s just one night, Peeta,” she barked. Why was he acting like this? They weren’t actually getting married. The way she saw it, after the reunion they could go right back to being best friends, and Gale would be none the wiser. It was simple and uncomplicated, and better than her having to confront Gale, telling him she didn’t want anything with him again.

 

“This is a little bit different than running off a guy checking you out or asking you on a date, Katniss.” The sharp edge of Peeta’s voice grated on her already tense nerves.

 

“If you don’t want to help me, Peeta, then just say so. It’s no big deal.” Peeta’s free hand joined the one in his hair, pulling at the short locks. Katniss didn’t understand why he was reacting this way.

 

“Why? Why did you tell him that?” Peeta’s question sounded more like a command, one Katniss didn’t want to answer, but was more afraid not to.

 

“I…” she started nervously. She felt like she was a kid in the principal’s office, and her eyes began to dampen out of frustration. She forced the tears back. “He wants to get back together, try again. And I don’t want to.”

 

“So, just to clarify,” Peeta said quietly, holding one finger up, “you told Gale we are engaged so you don’t have to tell him you don’t want to see him?” Katniss had to admit when it was put that way it sounded pretty selfish. Regret stole through her and she exhaled a shameful sigh.

 

“There were so many other things you could have said. First of all, the truth would have been good,” Peeta scolded her, although it was less harsh than she thought it would have been considering his current state. “Second, you could have asked me before saying anything to him. We’ve fake dated enough that I would have thrown my arm around you and kissed you on the cheek. But this-”

 

“But this is _Gale_. Not some random guy that doesn’t know me, or know _us_.” Katniss motioned between the two of them to indicate the connection everyone who had ever known them could see. “Do you remember when we broke up? He begged me to take him back for a year! He was so obnoxious and you know he won’t leave me alone, Peeta. He drains me in every way possible,” Katniss said, lowering her eyes, exhausted with the thought of Gale back in her life. “But you’re right. I shouldn’t have done that. It’s too much to ask.” She saw Peeta’s expression soften, and he moved closer, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug.

 

“I should have punched him when I had the chance,” Peeta muttered. “Alright,” he replied after a long moment, and Katniss could hear the resignation in his tone. “Let’s do it.”

 

“Are you sure?” she asked, her voice muffled into his solid chest. She could feel his head nod against hers and faintly hear his ‘yes’. In a sudden move to lighten the mood, Katniss bent down on one knee and took Peeta’s hand in hers. His look turned from blank to questioning to incredulous in no time at all.

 

“Katniss, what are you-”

 

“Peeta Mellark,” she said, putting on her brightest smile, the smile she only ever saved for him, “will you fake marry me?”

 

He considered her for a moment before she saw his shoulders slump and his eyes move to study the apartment’s aged, brown carpet. Katniss thought she would get at least a mischievous grin or a suggestive joke, but he didn’t even smile, and she wondered what else could be contributing to this mood he was in.

 

“Is there something else that’s bothering you?” she asked. Peeta shook his head, smiled tiredly and pulled her to her feel. After promising they would get together to talk over the details of their ‘engagement’, Peeta excused himself to get home and shower, sending Katniss back to the couch to absently peruse the bridal magazine a second time, less satisfied than she thought she would be.

 

 


	2. Secret's Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my mind the story is kind of outrageous, so it's gonna get cray-cray up in here real quick. Let me know what you think. :)

Katniss watched as her roommate, Annie, played with her long, shiny hair in the bathroom mirror. She tried different styles, both up and down, to see which she liked best for her approaching wedding to her and Katniss’ other roommate, Finnick. Katniss listened as Annie talked about the seating arrangements and table settings while she waited for Peeta to arrive. They were supposed to meet to get their story straight before the reunion, which was still two weeks away.

 

Katniss excused herself from the room when she heard the doorbell, before she could hear any more about flowers and garters, and something blue and old being used. Annie was sweet, but there was only so much wedding talk Katniss could handle.

 

After letting him in, Katniss and Peeta settled onto the two eat-in bar stools in the kitchen. Peeta had brought her favorite snack from the bakery, cheese buns, and she had already put two away before he had finished his first. Peeta never made fun of her appetite or her eating habits. In fact, he encouraged it with his constant showering of delicious baked goods whenever they were together, and Katniss loved the freedom of being herself around him. “Delly should be here soon to go over the details of the reunion, so we don’t have too long.”

 

“Okay, so, what’s the story?” Peeta asked, taking another bite of the half-finished bun, a string of cheese clinging to his chin. Katniss grinned and wiped it away with the pad of her thumb.

 

“I’m not sure. What do you think?” she responded. Peeta shrugged and swallowed his bite.

 

“This is your rodeo. I’m just along for the ride,” he answered.

 

“Well, what if we just say that we made a pact?” Peeta’s eyebrows lifted and a smirk appeared on his face. Katniss had always thought he was handsome. Creamy skin, perfectly structured jaw and enviable cheekbones. His top lip was thinner than his bottom lip, but Katniss always found herself watching them form words, and when he smiled his playful eyes lit up like Christmas.

 

“You mean the old ‘if we reach a certain age and we’re not with anyone we’ll get married to each other’ joke?” Katniss nodded. “No one will believe it, Katniss.” She knew it was a long shot, but something about this scenario she had created made her uneasy. She wasn’t sure she would be able to make up a story about how she and Peeta fell in love, and what their first kiss was like, or even how he proposed. It was seriously uncharted territory for them. What if someone asked her how he was in bed? Sure, she’d had a few dreams about Peeta, but her conscious mind had never really thought of him that way.

 

“Well, we’re both 28 and unattached. Not to mention best friends forever. It kind of just makes sense, right?” Katniss saw a slight dip in Peeta’s countenance, but as quickly as it had come it vanished, and she was too distracted to make sense of it.

 

“I guess. If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll say. It’s not very romantic, though,” he added.

 

“What do you know about romance? You’ve had as many girlfriends as I’ve had boyfriends,” Katniss drawled irritably, remembering the six month stint of a relationship Peeta had with Glimmer Rogers, whom Katniss had despised worse than Peeta seemed to despise Gale. It was almost as if Peeta was trying to piss her off with the bottled blonde. She was everything Katniss was not - a perfect hourglass figure she enjoyed displaying with what Katniss thought was inappropriate clothing. Everything she wore seemed to have strategically placed cutouts for the public’s viewing pleasure. She came from a wealthy family and was very outgoing, even if she was a huge snob..

 

“I know plenty, thank you very much,” Peeta countered, feigning hurt.

 

“Well, keep it to yourself then. No sense getting me all nauseous.” Peeta rolled his eyes at Katniss’ aversion to romance and stuffed a third cheese bun into her open mouth as she imitated a yawn.

 

“Look, if we’re engaged, then I get to do what I want, and if I want to be romantic, then I will. Got it?” he said sternly. Peeta had a way of telling her what to do without it sounding the least bit commanding. He was the only person in the world that held that power. Katniss, busy chewing up the cheese bun, reluctantly nodded her assent.

 

“You’re engaged?” came a surprised voice from behind them. Katniss recognized immediately her male roommate, and Annie’s fiance, Finnick. She shot Peeta a terrified look.She hadn’t meant for anyone other than Gale, herself and Peeta to know about the fake engagement. But she hadn’t counted on Finnick overhearing anything. Or Finnick yelling at Annie to come down and hear the news. As soon as he breathed the words, Annie’s face brightened with enthusiasm. She pulled Katniss into a hug tighter than Katniss thought she would have been capable of, and before she and Peeta could explain anything, Delly burst through the door.

 

“Oh my gosh! How long have you two been engaged and why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded as harshly as a bubbly person like Delly could demand anything. She rushed over to Katniss, grabbing her left hand for inspection. “No ring? Peeta!” she chided. “You must rectify this _before_ the reunion. You can’t have Katniss telling people she’s engaged and there’s no ring. It would be like saying you won an Olympic race and having no goldmedal to show for it.”

 

Katniss was stunned speechless, and she could feel heat creeping up her neck onto her cheeks. She wondered if Peeta felt the same as she did, like they had just stepped on a landmine. Looking over at him, she saw a tight smile on his face, but other than that he seemed at ease. Peeta was rarely rattled.

 

“Well, you two should let your faces know this is supposed to be a happy moment,” Finnick chimed in.

 

“Dell, how did you hear? It’s very recent news, actually,” Peeta questioned his old friend cautiously.

 

“Gale,” she replied, shrugging as if there were no other explanation. “He called to get hotel information and he asked if I’d heard the big news.” Katniss’ eyes narrowed. She was positive Gale’s gossip was more about finding out if what she’d told him was true, rather than spreading happy news.

 

Feeling overwhelmed, Katniss bolted from the kitchen. She took the steps two at a time, slamming the door to her room and collapsing on the bed in a heap. What had she done? Maybe telling Gale ‘no’ and dealing with his repulsive crap would have been better than the situation she found herself in now. She felt like she was being pressed into the mattress as the guilty weight of having dragged Peeta into the situation piled on top of her already convicted conscience. Katniss closed her eyes to try and calm herself, moments later hearing the door click open. She knew it was Peeta as the heaviness of his frame came to rest on the bed next to her, dipping the mattress down so that she rolled into his leg.

 

“I”m sorry I ran out and left you there alone. What did you tell them?” Katniss asked.

 

Peeta exhaled deeply. “I told them it was all very new, and you had hoped to keep it quiet until you told your family. And then I asked them to keep it to themselves until you give the word.” Peeta was always looking out for her. Even when things were her fault, he never hung her out to dry, which was why she felt even more rotten. She did not deserve him as friend, much less a fake fiance.

 

“What have I done?” Katniss groaned.

  
“We’ll get through it,” he said. “We always do.” Katniss heard the doubt in his voice.

 


	3. Blindsided

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reviews, follows and faves! I want to mention here the purpose of this story. First, the topic intrigued me enough to build an outline for it. I love throwing Everlark together in crazy situations so Katniss can slowly realize she loves Peeta, which is something I need to work on. I get them together too quickly usually. Can’t stand for them to be apart!!   
> Second, the purpose of the daily updates is to keep me writing, so they will be short and possibly unbeta’d. I may not get this entirely right, and K&P may get OOC from time to time, but I’m really doing this for me and I want to share it with people who want to read it.   
> Third, I’m moving cities soon! I know, I know… why did I start a story and promise daily updates when I’m supposed to be packing up a house I’ve lived in for 10 years, brought two kids home to, and collected a ton of sentimental crap? My only answer is I’m a glutton for punishment and stress. But I want to keep my promises, so daily updates will continue despite my husband’s pleas of ‘dear Lord, please stop writing that drivel’. If there’s anything you want to see happen here, or a great idea or line you would like to see in the story, message me! I’m open to change.

Katniss had been avoiding her roommates’ glances and possible inquiries, and Delly’s incessant text messages about the engagement since she had run out of the kitchen angry four days earlier. She really hadn’t given anyone time to ask questions, and avoidance was the best way Katniss knew to deal with uncomfortable situations until she could get a handle on the downward spiral the situation seemed to be taking. Maybe it could all be contained, though, and worked out since it was just Finnick, Annie and Delly that knew. Delly had been like a sister to Peeta, and her roommates would understand, wouldn’t they? These were the questions that volleyed back and forth in Katniss’ mind all week - gIve it up, or keep it up.

 

Out of shame, she holed herself up in her room after work every day, only briefly answering Peeta when he’d message her before bed. He seemed concerned, and Katniss tried to dissuade him from coming over to check on her. She really just wanted to be alone, and she was still in the middle of self-loathing when a knock came at her door.

 

“Who is it?” she asked in a disinterested manner, hoping whoever it was would take the hint that she didn’t want company.

 

“Peeta. Can I come in?” Katniss blew out a breath, knowing she couldn’t ignore him since he came all the way across town to see her.

 

“Yes,” she answered. He entered, closing the door behind him.

 

“I came to take you out to dinner,” he informed her, reaching for the light jacket slung over her bedroom chair. Katniss hadn’t felt like eating all week, but as soon as Peeta mentioned food her stomach rumbled. She knew she needed to eat, but she didn’t know if she could sit across from Peeta without feeling like an idiot.

 

Without waiting for her to answer, Peeta pulled Katniss up from the bed, her lazy arms hanging limp at her sides from lack of energy. He helped her into her jacket and gently prodded her towards the door, ignoring her insistence that he didn’t need to do take care of her like this. She could do perfectly fine on her own.

 

“I know,” he replied. “We need to talk and I’m pretty sure you haven’t been eating.” He knew her so well, although the ‘we need to talk’ bit sounded more like the break up line she’d given to Gale.  

 

Downstairs, they ran into Finnick and Annie coming home from the grocery store, arms full. Peeta took Annie’s bags and followed Finnick into the kitchen, leaving the two girls in the foyer.

 

“I was just saying to Finnick we haven’t seen you all week, Katniss. Is everything okay?” Annie asked.

 

“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine,” Katniss lied. She knew she was a terrible liar, Peeta had told her many times, but Annie didn’t know her as well as Peeta did. “Just been busy, you know... working.” She couldn’t bring herself to mention anything about a wedding out loud. There wasn’t going to _be_ a wedding, and she knew if she wasn’t careful this could all get worse. When she considered letting Finnick and Annie in on their secret, Annie had brought Katniss a stack of wedding magazines and samples of bridal cake that she’d brought home to try. Katniss felt so guilty at the sweet gesture that she, oddly enough, didn’t feel right about telling Annie the truth.

 

Annie placed her hand on Katniss’ shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Well, if you need anything, just let me know. Finnick and I are so excited for you both!” Katniss was grateful Annie didn’t say any more about it, and before Katniss could respond, Peeta emerged from the kitchen.

 

“Ready?” he asked, pulling his keys from his pocket. Finnick appeared behind him.

 

“Where are you headed off to?” he asked.

 

“Food,” Peeta replied, as if by his one word answer the fact that he wanted to talk to her alone was made clear.

 

“Mind if we join you? It’ll be like a real double date.” Finnick winked at her and, to Katniss, his smile seemed to emanate mischief. She knew him well enough to know that he was up to something. She wanted to say no, but Peeta, ever the polite friend, tried to let him down gently.

 

“We’re just getting drive through. Nothing fancy,” he said as he opened the door and unsuccessfully tried to usher Katniss out of it before Finnick could protest.

 

“We haven’t had a chance to celebrate yet! I’m buying,” Finnick said with a finality that Katniss didn’t think even Peeta could reject. He grabbed Annie’s hand and pulled her along, closing and locking the door as they all filed out. “I’ll drive.” Katniss wasn’t sure if she was horrified or relieved. On the one hand, Peeta’s ‘talk’ would have to wait, but on the other hand, Finnick’s talking might be worse.

 

Katniss was mostly silent on the ride to the restaurant, not knowing what to say and leaving any conversation to Peeta, who was sitting in front with Finnick. They didn’t talk about the engagement or any wedding agenda, and Katniss relaxed in the hopes that maybe this dinner would turn out to be harmless.

Finnick drove them to a restaurant Katniss had heard him speak of lately, and the waitress motioned them to a booth. Katniss slid in first, Peeta behind her. They were friendly inches apart, and Peeta motioned toward the couple opposite them with his eyes. Katniss glanced at Finnick and Annie curiously, wondering what Peeta meant, when his hand patting the vinyl space between them caught her attention. _Oh._ Right. They were supposed to be engaged, and apparently engaged people sat on top of each other if their friends’ actions were any indication.

 

Katniss scooted closer to Peeta, their thighs touching, Peeta draping his arm around her shoulders as he began to peruse the menu. Despite the odor of garlic and herbs that filled the air of the Italian restaurant, Katniss could smell the comforting scent of her best friend. He always smelled like warmth and fall, and his nearness was like being cocooned a the softest blanket.

 

Peeta ordered for himself and Katniss, reminding her how much he paid attention to the things she liked, while Annie playfully challenged Finnick to follow Peeta’s chivalrous example. Finnick was rewarded with a peck on the cheek at his first try. “I know my woman,” he said pridefully.

 

Katniss’ mind lingered on his words, _I know my woman._ She knew Finnick and Annie were in love, anyone could see it in the way they looked at each other, but the fact remained that Finnick had just done exactly what Peeta did, and Finnick’s comment made her uneasy. Was she Peeta’s woman? He’d had no girl to focus on other than herself, and he never seemed to want to see other girls. Not that Katniss wanted him to.

 

Curious, she caught his gaze, searching the depths of his blue eyes for a moment. They held the same regard for her that they always had - kindness and patience. There was no arrogance or conceitedness in them, and even in this situation Katniss knew that Peeta held no ill thought toward her, and his genuine smile added to that assurance.

 

“We think we found a house,” Finnick chimed in, pulling Katniss from her thoughts. He kissed Annie on the tip of her nose and hugged her close. It was good news for them, Katniss knew, but what was she going to do when she had to pay triple her rent?

 

“I still don’t know what I’m going to do when you guys move out,” she said, unable to hide her concern. She hadn’t shared it with anyone yet, but under the strain of the current circumstances, she couldn’t keep one more thing in. Katniss was greatly unprepared for what would come next, not that she had been prepared for any of it, and she would chide herself later for walking straight into it.

 

“Oh my gosh!” Annie cried. “You should move in, Peeta!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seem too fast? We’ll slow down here in the next chapter, trust me! I need to create some stress. Hope you keep reading and please review! Your kind and encouraging words keep me writing. Pbg


	4. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is part 4! This is the dinner conversation entirely from Peeta’s pov. Because we must know what our Bae is thinking. :) AND, when I spell checked my doc, the computer said there were no suggestions for this chapter. Does that mean I’m awesome?? Oh well, enough babble! Let’s pick up where we left off, shall we?

_Peeta_

 

“Oh my gosh!” Annie cried. “You should move in, Peeta!”

 

Peeta felt Katniss go rigid under his arm, and he could only imagine what her face displayed. She had never been able to hide her true feelings. He, too, was bewildered at Annie’s proposal, but he kept his arm around Katniss and brushed his fingers back and forth over her shoulder to help her keep up the charade and her composure. He hated lying to their friends, but he would do anything for Katniss, even cause himself pain.

 

“You can finally get out of your parent’s basement! It’ll be perfect! Don’t you think, Finnie?” Annie asked, nudging the copper-haired man beside her. Finnick’s eyes were dancing with amusement, and he seemed about to burst into a laughing fit, although he curbed it well, Peeta thought. He knew he was going to have to answer for this one. There was no way Katniss would be able to lie and say that it was a good idea, nor would she be able to pull off gracefully rejecting the notion that her fiance, someone for all intents and purposes she should already be well acquainted enough to live with, should move in.

 

“We haven’t really discussed anything other than we want to be together,” Peeta said truthfully, hoping it was enough to stop the escalation of the topic, but Annie, innocent and sweet as she was, seemed to latch onto it like a determined poodle.  

 

“Think about it, Peeta - Finn and I will be out soon, and your fiance will need a roommate. You live in your parent’s basement, and posh and free as it is, you could use a little change.” Peeta knew Annie was trying to be helpful, but throwing out that a grown man still lived with his parents stung. They all knew why he was there, saving money to open his own bakery one day and rid himself of the constant, disapproving scrutiny of his mother, but she continued before he could object. “And, you’re going to get married anyway. Don’t you want to start waking up next to Katniss every morning?” Peeta’s gut twisted. Annie had nailed that one on the head so perfectly it sank in as if it were driving through soft flesh. It was what he wanted more than anything. It just wasn’t what Katniss wanted. She was comfortable in their closeness, and he was happy to be what she needed when she needed it. It was better than not being with her at all in his opinion.

 

To Peeta’s surprise, Katniss spoke up in favor of Annie’s plan, “Actually it’s not a bad idea.” Peeta couldn’t help but gaze at her incredulously, her casual agreement further embedding the nail of what he desired most, until it disappeared altogether, painfully lodged inside him and never to be plucked out. “Annie’s right,” she added, looking him straight in the eye. “There’s no one I’d rather live with than you.”

 

Peeta knew what she meant; that they were already comfortable with each other, and it would keep up the pretense for a bit. But most likely Katniss was terrified of having to live with someone she didn’t know. He couldn’t deny the logic in it for her, and if the only feelings he’d ever had for Katniss were platonic, he would say absolutely, but this could be dangerous. He didn’t want to ruin two decades of friendship, and they seemed more delicate than ever now.

 

“We’ll talk about it later,” he decided, trying to sound chipper despite the crushing feeling in his chest. The food arrived soon after, and upon noticing that Katniss was enjoying herself, his spirits lifted enough to join the witty banter flying around the table.

 

After fighting Finnick for the check, Peeta escorted Katniss from the restaurant, lazily resting his hand on her lower back. It was something he hadn’t done much of, even as close as they were, but he had decided toward the end of dinner that if this was the closest he was ever going to get to being her other half, then he would savor every touch, every smile, and every moment. The dreadful feeling that he wouldn’t have Katniss much longer in any capacity compelled him to.

 

“We’ll leave you two alone,” Finnick said, winking conspiratorially at Peeta as he and Annie disappeared down the hall, leaving him and Katniss in the living room. Katniss took a seat on the sofa, patting the space next to her.

 

Peeta accepted it, and Katniss reached for his hand. It was her usual friendly touch, a gentle squeeze between hands settled on her thigh, her shorts having ridden up when she sat down, her soft skin warming the back of his hand. He wanted to hold her so badly, but he didn’t trust himself. There was no one around to pretend for, so he had no reason to act on his true feelings.

 

“What do you think?” Katniss asked him, yanking him from his thoughts. Her look was intent, curious, and a little bit worried, which confused Peeta.

 

“You mean, what do I think in general, or what am I thinking right now?” Peeta responded, having forgotten the topic of conversation at dinner.

 

“I mean about you moving in here. Roommates?” she questioned. Peeta remembered the reservations he’d had about it, and his feelings revolving how Katniss seemed to not share them, or have any idea they existed. The angel on his right shoulder was telling him this was a bad idea, but the devil on the other was saying ‘go for it’. In a timid test, he asked her what she thought of it.

 

“I think it all makes perfect sense. I meant what I said that there’s no one I’d rather live with than you, and once Annie and Finnick are moved out, you can have their room,” Katniss explained. “We’ll just have to share a room for a few months, which shouldn’t be an issue.” _Oh it was an issue alright_ , Peeta said to himself. “It could be one long sleepover, you know? Like when we were younger and we always wanted to have one, but our parents thought it was ‘indecent’,” Katniss rolled her eyes at the word, “just because we weren’t the same gender.”

 

Peeta knew exactly what she was talking about. He hadn’t understood it then, but he certainly understood it now. He really needed some time to think about what to do, but he couldn’t do it with Katniss near him. One pleading look from her and he was a goner, and he always had been.

 

“I need to think about it, Katniss,” Peeta said. He stood, but she tightened her hold on his hand so that he wouldn’t move away from her. Looking down at her he could saw her eyes searching his face. She looked as confused as he felt.  

 

“Are you okay? You seem a little off tonight,” she asked.

 

“I’m just a little tired,” he lied. He was exhausted. Dinner had taken a toll on his normally restrained emotions. There weren’t many times in his life that Peeta didn’t know what to do or say. “I should probably get home since I have an early morning tomorrow.” That was at least more truthful.

 

“Alright,” Katniss replied, walking him to the door. Before he left, she put her arms around his waist and leaned her head into his chest. “Thank you, Peeta. You really are the best.” He could hear the sincerity in her tone. She let go and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She didn’t do it often, but she had done it before. It had the effect of cheering him up a bit.  

 

“Call me when you’ve thought about it. I’ll be the best roommate ever. Promise!” Katniss called after him as he walked to his car. She had no need to remind him. It would be all he thought about that night.

 

 

The ovens were hot, and the cinnamon rolls were rising when Mrs. Mellark strolled into the bakery the next morning. Peeta was scurrying around the kitchen, behind in his work from lack of sleep. He’d finally fallen asleep at three a.m., going over and over in his head the pros and cons of rooming with Katniss, only to be woken up an hour later at four. It was a fitful hour anyway, knowing today he would have to tell Katniss no. He would not be moving in with her. She was going to take it personal and not understand. Maybe that was his fault for keeping his feelings from her for so long, but he just couldn’t endure the rejection and loss if she didn’t feel the same way, which he was pretty sure she didn’t.

 

“Running behind, are we?” Mrs. Mellark said to him. She never sounded sweet, but today she was extra irritable. She hated lateness, and today Peeta had given her a reason to be annoyed. “You know how I detest irresponsibility, Peeta.”

 

“Sorry, mother. I’ll move faster,” he responded, trying to ease the verbal blow Mrs. Mellark was sure to give.

 

“I don’t think you appreciate what I do for you.” _Here we go,_ Peeta thought, taking a deep, relaxing breath. “Maybe I should give you a pay cut if you’re going to act so childish. Really, Peeta,” he grimaced at the way she said his name, like he was a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. “That’s what teenagers do. You’re a grown man. It’s time to take some responsibility for-”

 

The rolling pin next to him somehow ended up in his hand, crashing down onto the steel countertop, his mother jumping a little at the loud noise. Every day it was the same. _Peeta you’re irresponsible. Peeta you act like a child_. _Grow up, Peeta. Why don’t I teach you a lesson and cut your wages._ He was sick of it. He only needed a little more to start his bakery. He was so close to being out from under his mother. It was time to stand up for himself.

 

“I’m not a child. I’m a grown man who works hard and you should be thankful to have me,” he said, trying to keep his voice from elevating from years of repressed frustration. It wasn’t working too well and his mother didn’t appreciate being spoken to so boldly. When he was younger, words and tone like that called for bruises, and he’d learned quickly not to tempt her.

 

“Grown men don’t live with their parents at 28, _Peeta_.” The way his name spewed from her lips, as though she had ingested something poisonous, was the last straw. Peeta untied his apron and tossed onto the counter. He picked up his phone, dialing Katniss.

 

“Who are you calling?” his mother demanded. Peeta set the phone down and touched the speaker icon, and Katniss’ hello rang out in the room. Mrs. Mellark’s eyes narrowed. She hated Katniss. It was the one thing in Peeta’s life that she had no control over. He barely had control over it, either, but his mother detested Katniss, always had.

 

“Hey, Katniss. I made a decision,” he said.

 

“What is it?” she asked, her tone sounding nervous.

  
“You’re talking to your new roommate,” Peeta answered, staring daggers at his furious mother.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, doggy! I had fun with that last bit. :) Take that Mrs. Mellark! The beyotch...
> 
> I’m not sure how I did with Peeta’s thoughts. Was I too cruel? I mean, if you’ve loved someone forever and you’ve been too afraid to lose them to tell them… did I get it right? Anyway, I couldn’t derail the direction it was going. Nothing else came to mind! I think I promised things would slow down this chapter, but maybe I lied…? I’m not sure. In my timeline there’s been about a week since Peeta agreed to be fake engaged with Katniss. What do you think? Tomorrow’s update will be moving day. Hope you’re loving it! Pbg


	5. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finnick let's something slip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so, so sorry I haven’t updated in two weeks! I was supposed to be done with this whole story by now. Blah. After my last update there was a death of a young girl I knew, and there were obligations to fulfill, plus funeral company, which is exhausting. That took about 7 days total, and then after that we ran to Dallas to look at homes and schools for the kids, and where all the best shoe stores are. That is just something every girl needs to know before you decide where you’re living. :) That was a six day trip, and upon returning there were mounds of laundry and getting packed to move, but not too packed that the house can’t show well, and UGH!!! Life is bizz-ay. Not to mention it’s freakin’ hot outside and my kids are always wanting to go to the pool. The computer and a gallon of sweat droplets don’t mix all that well. I hope you enjoy part 5. I haven’t thought about this for two weeks and I hope it doesn’t show! Reviews are always appreciated! Back to Katniss here...

**Part 5**

 

Over the next week, Katniss helped Peeta pack up all his belongings from the basement, which his dad had refinished into a man cave years ago. It was a plush pad with leather furnishings, cable, satellite and internet hookups, and the most comfortable bed Katniss had ever sat on. The only downside to Peeta’s pad - it was directly beneath his parents. No grown man should have to be subjected to an angry, meddling mother all their life. But Katniss understood why Peeta had done it - he wanted to save all he could to be able to open his own bakery someday, completely away from the control of Mrs. Mellark. He had never given Katniss a number, Peeta wasn’t one to brag, but she knew he had a sizable nest egg in his savings account.

 

Most of the furniture was left behind, since it technically belonged to his parents, and three people already living in the apartment had plenty to fill it. Katniss thought It was actually a perfect scenario. Finnick and Annie were looking for a home to move into after the wedding and, over the last few days, Katniss and Peeta talked about keeping the apartment and Peeta moving to the downstairs bedroom. He seemed agreeable to it, though Katniss still sensed that bit of sadness from a week ago. Except for the fake engagement, things were playing out rather perfectly in her opinion.

 

Walking the first of the boxes into her bedroom, Katniss placed it on the desk and turned to see Peeta, a large, heavy box in hand, staring at the queen bed.

 

“When did you get that?” he asked, sounding surprised. “The last time I was in here you just had a twin. I thought I’d just put a second twin on the other side of the room.” Peeta seemed to say the last part to himself.

 

“Oh, well, yeah, I upgraded,” she informed him casually. “The room seemed too big with just the twin, so I took Annie’s when she and Finnick got their king bed.” Katniss rubbed her hands together nervously. She hadn’t really thought about the sleeping arrangements being awkward. She and Peeta had shared a bed platonically so many times she hadn’t considered it would be different, but Peeta’s apparent trepidation over it made her uneasy as well. The movie and popcorn she had planned for their first night as roomies, snuggled up on her bed, seemed a little less relaxing now than it had been when the idea came to her.

 

“It’s okay, isn’t it? It’s not like we’ve never shared a bed before, Peeta,” Katniss said calmly, although she didn’t feel it. She made an offer in Peeta’s silence. “I can sleep on the floor if you don’t want to sleep with me-”

 

“No, no. I’ll sleep on the floor,” he interrupted as he sighed, dropping the box in an empty corner of the room and disappearing down the stairs to unload more. Katniss followed him silently, wondering why this was starting to seem like bad idea.

 

After all the boxes were removed from his modest pickup, most of them belonging in the kitchen, Peeta excused himself to take a shower. Katniss was glad she’d had the forethought to deep clean the bathroom they would share. She wasn’t very tidy but she knew Peeta liked things clean and organized, so she scoured the tub, disinfected the sink and counter, mopped the floor and even cleared out a section of the linen closet for Peeta’s personal items. She hadn’t had to be domestic since she lived with her family, completely responsible for her depressive mother and younger sister after her father’s sudden death. She didn’t think she was very good at it then, and she wasn’t much better now. Some fiancee she would make.

 

An hour later, when Peeta still hadn’t returned from upstairs, Katniss went in search of him. She knocked first, in case he wasn’t decent. The thought of Peeta naked was like pushing the panic button inside her. She didn’t know if she could look him in the eyes ever again if the unthinkable happened. Slowly opening the door to her room, _their_ room, she remembered, Katniss found him fast asleep on top of her bed. She could smell the familiar scent of his soap mixed with the spices from the bakery, and her eyes drifted over his peaceful form. She had never really watched him sleep, and she found it comforting, despite her earlier uneasiness about the sleeping arrangements. He looked so comfortable, and like… home. Peeta was definitely home for her. Anytime and anyplace she was with him she always felt at ease.

 

His hair was damp, drying in shaggy curls across his forehead, one hand draped across his stomach while the other was flung carelessly above his head. His lips were barely parted, and she could see them quiver slightly with every breath. A sliver of skin caught her eye, his gray t-shirt having ridden up and separated from his basketball shorts. Her eyes lingered there for a moment wondering what it would feel like to touch his skin there with her fingertips. It was a more intimate thought than she’d ever had about Peeta. Sure, she’d slapped his arm plenty when he’d made friendly jokes at her expense. Their hands had brushed many times in exchange of a mug of coffee or a pen. But this was a different feeling altogether, and it scared her.

 

Katniss consciously moved her eyes away, the feeling she was ogling her best friend beginning to make her uncomfortable, and she grinned when she noticed his feet were still touching the floor. He must have been exhausted to fall asleep like this. She moved quietly to him, tucking his knees up as he subconsciously rolled over on his side to the fetal position. Katniss covered him with a light blanket and went back downstairs to find something to eat and mull over this new situation. There was just something about it she couldn’t put her finger on.

 

Ten minutes into her thoughts and her half-eaten cheese sandwich, which had her longing for some of Peeta’s cheese buns, she heard the door open and close. Finnick appeared shortly after, plopping down beside her with a sly grin on his face.

 

“So, how’s paradise treating you?” he asked, seeming amused.

 

“Paradise?” Katniss questioned, forgetting for a moment what he was talking about. She certainly didn’t feel like she was there, unless paradise was considered confusing and complex.

 

“Your new roommate. You know, the guy you’re engaged to be married to?” The way Finnick said the word ‘married’ perplexed her. It was as if he didn’t believe it was true. “You just haven’t looked particularly happy over the last week. What’s up?” _Dangit_. Katniss knew she was a terrible liar, and even the thought of having to lie directly to Finnick, the world’s human lie detector, was causing beads of sweat to break out across her forehead.

 

“Is it warm in here?” she questioned, swiping her hand across her brow. Finnick didn’t answer, but continued to search her face with his persistent gaze. He was a great roommate, usually staying out of Katniss’ business unless he felt the need to be a big brother. Katniss never had an older sibling, so even though she knew Finnick meant well, he still ended up sounding like a parent more than anything, and she hadn’t had that in over fifteen years.

 

“What’s going on, Kat? Cold feet already?” he teased, chuckling to himself and launching into a parental speech. “You’ll be fine. Peeta’s a great guy and a serious catch. You’re lucky, you know, that he’s waited all these years for you to come around. I’m surprised really. I told him a few years ago if he didn’t fess up he would lose you forever…” Finnick continued to chatter, but Katniss heard none of it. The words ‘he’s waited all these years for you’ scrolled through her head like a giant, flashing billboard. _Peeta has waited all these years? For what? For me to come around to…?_ Katniss knew what she thought he meant, but it couldn’t be that, could it?

  
The sudden urge to run hit Katniss like a Mack truck barreling down the highway. Without so much as a word she sprang from her seat, hastily grabbing her keys from the counter where she had thrown them earlier and bolted to her car, not even bothering to close the front door. Finnick was calling after her but she didn’t stop or look back. She needed some time alone in a quiet place to pull her head together, if it was at all possible. And she knew just the place.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaahhhh!! How was the update? I know it’s short but I wanted to get something out today. We’re going to be moving from oblivious Katniss to denial Katniss in the next chapter, and maybe something ‘unthinkable’ if you catch my drift. *wink, wink* I hope the writing is okay. I’ve been out of practice and I get so nervous when people who read lots of fanfiction look over my stuff!


	6. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here’s a little bit of denial Katniss, but how about I throw in some confrontational Finnick as well? I actually enjoyed writing him here. He’s a bit snarky, but I swear it’s for her own good. :) I really love chatting with you all and hearing what you think. Keep it coming! Also, I’ve been working on a charming little one-shot, coming to a tumblr dash near you - real soon! Enjoy, my lovelies!

Katniss tried to keep her thoughts under wraps until she made it to her safe place, the one spot she knew where no one could bother her. She had never brought anyone to the old hiking trails on the outskirts of town, and since the new family-friendly trails had been carved out a few years ago, most people had stopped coming to the overgrown, unkempt ones. She had a spot off the end of one of the beaten paths, where the dip in a large, flat rock cradled her perfectly.

 

Finally reaching it, Katniss let loose all the questions she had locked up in her head on the drive. _What did Finnick mean? Did Peeta have romantic feelings for her?_ _If he did, he sure hadn’t let on about them. And if that were true, why didn’t he say something? If he had been truthful about them what would their relationship be like now? Would they even be friends? Would they be more than friends?_

 

The last thought was the one that danced around her head more than any other. Could she see herself with Peeta that way? They knew each other as well as any dating couple would know their partner. Well, except for one particular way. Katniss wasn’t completely inexperienced in that area, but it had been a while, and Gale wasn’t the best teacher. It was terrifying even considering a change in their relationship. If she lost Peeta because they eventually realized they had made a mistake, she wouldn’t be able to-

 

A rustling in the leaves snapped Katniss to attention. She reached for a loose rock a few feet from her and threw it in the direction of the sound, hoping to frighten whatever it was away. “Ouch!” came a familiar voice and Katniss scrambled to her feet.

 

“Finnick! What are you doing here? How did you find me?” she demanded. “I wanted to be alone.”

 

“I followed you,” he said, rubbing a spot on his shoulder. “You scared me running away like that. What’s going on with you, Katniss?”

 

“Nothing is going on with me. Sometimes I just like a little privacy, and I can’t run off to my room because-”

 

“Peeta’s there?” Finnick interrupted. “Isn’t that who you would want to run to, instead of away from?” His question sounded more confused than critical. Katniss returned to her seat on the rock, trying to think of a good way to answer him, but finding none she decided to be evasive.

 

“I didn’t want to bother him.”

 

Finnick replied, “Well, I hate to break it to you, but that’s a big part of marriage - trusting each other enough to talk about your issues and help each other deal with them. This might be a good time to start.”

 

“I’m not sure I can do that right now,” Katniss said. There was no way in hell she could approach Peeta and ask if he felt what Finnick had implied he did. Katniss was only confrontational if she were backed into a corner. She didn’t go looking for it willingly.

 

“Why not? Peeta would do anything for you. He would never turn his back on you, Katniss,” Finnick said confidently, keeping his curious gaze on her, but she did not respond. “You don’t really know how he feels about you, do you?” She glanced his way, quickly averting her eyes from his knowing ones. His eyebrows arched and his face took on a canny appearance.

 

“I do,” she countered, though it could be considered a lie. She thought she knew but all that had changed in the last hour, and Finnick seemed unconvinced with her answer.

 

“There’s something you need to know, Katniss. I heard you and Peeta talking about the engagement that day I walked into the kitchen. I know it’s meant to be fake,” he admitted. Katniss’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

 

“Why didn’t you say something sooner? Does Annie know?” If Annie knew, then the whole roommate thing was a set up. _Surely sweet, unsuspecting Annie wouldn’t be able to do such a thing?_

 

“Annie doesn’t know. She thinks it’s real - which, by the way,” he pointed out unhappily, “will break her heart when she finds out. I don’t like my future wife’s emotions being toyed with so you can avoid your own problems.” The truth of Finnick’s words hit her hard, but he wasn’t finished. “But that’s not the part I was talking about.”

 

“Oh? What else do I need to know?” Katniss asked suspiciously, unsure she wanted to hear it. Finnick took a deep breath.

 

“This fake engagement will kill Peeta. He loves you. He would do anything for you, Katniss, including wrecking his own life. I can’t say I blame him, I mean, I would wreck my life for Annie. God knows I love her, but the difference is, Annie feels the same about me, and I’m not certain you can make that claim.”

 

And there it was, all the cards on the table. When it was just a vague reference that Peeta may have had more-than-friendly feelings for her she could have denied it; could have buried it in her mind and went on with the charade. Now that they were so blatantly cast before her it was different.

 

“I don’t want to see him get hurt, Katniss.” Finnick’s indication that she was okay with Peeta experiencing pain at the expense of her thoughtless actions grated on her nerves like nails on a chalkboard.

 

“You think _I_ want to hurt him? What would you have me do, Finnick? If you haven’t noticed, we’re already on our way down that road,” she challenged.

 

“I suggest you start owning up to your feelings for him then.” Katniss felt like she’d just been slapped. “I’ve seen the way you look at him, the way you act with him. Anyone can tell you have feelings for him,” Finnick argued.

 

Katniss scoffed. “I don’t look at him any specific ‘way’! That’s how friends are with each other.”

 

Finnick laughed arrogantly. “We’re friends, right?” he asked. Katniss folded her arms across her chest and nodded her head. “Why don’t you act the same way with me that you do with him?” Katniss thought for a minute.

 

“It’s different, Finnick. You have Annie-”

 

“So let’s find Peeta a girl, then. Someone he can really get engaged to... get married to, live a good life with, make babies with, and then you can be friends with _them_.” He paused, looking amused. “I’ll bet they’ll even let Aunty Katniss babysit.” Rage barreled through Katniss like a bull in a china closet at Finnick’s implications.

 

“Why are you saying those things? Peeta is happy the way things are between us,” she cried. _He was, wasn’t he?_ Doubt stirred in her mind.

 

“Does it bother you? Thinking of Peeta with someone else?” he questioned. The quickness of his questions and accusations made her feel like she was being interrogated.

 

“No,” she lied, her eyes fixed on an ant hill a few feet from her. The ants scurried in and out of the hole, oblivious to her desperate situation. She thought about what an easy life they must live - one leader, many soldiers, tasks to be completed. The same routine every day.

 

“Alright, then. I’ll go,” Finnick answered, turning in the direction he appeared. “I’ll leave you with one word, though - Glimmer.” And with that he was gone.

 

Katniss fumed. _How dare he ask her those things_. Unable to stay seated any longer, she began pacing the cleared area in front of the rock as she went over their conversation. Of course she loved Peeta. She couldn’t imagine her life without him. She didn’t _want_ to imagine her life without him, but even more than that - she didn’t want to imagine herself in his life as second place, especially not to _Glimmer._ Just the thought of her with Peeta sent an angry shiver through Katniss. But what did that mean exactly? She didn’t think she was ready to marry him, although she was going about it all wrong at this point. Was Finnick right? Would dating be any different than what they were doing now? Maybe they already _were_ dating? Just without the physical part of the relationship. That would definitely be a new experience, and probably not all that unpleasant, she thought. Peeta was a very good looking guy, and she did remember her friend Madge, whom Peeta had dated their senior year of high school, compliment how great of a kisser he was. Katniss had gagged at the time.

 

The sun was setting and Katniss knew she needed to get back to the apartment so Peeta wouldn’t worry about her. She smiled remembering the time Gale had ‘kidnapped’ her for a weekend of camping in the woods. Gale had packed a bag for them which did not include her cell phone, and Peeta had worried for days when he couldn’t reach her. He was at the apartment when Gale dropped her off, and he’d hugged her for what seemed like hours. She wondered if he would hug her like that when she arrived home that night. Oddly, It wasn’t as horrifying a thought as she imagined it would be.

 

 

Finnick and Annie were snuggled up on one side of the couch, with Peeta was propped on the other when Katniss walked through the front door. Peeta smiled at her like nothing had happened; like she hadn’t been gone for hours contemplating her life with him and what it all meant. He patted the spot beside him, smiling. “We’re watching your favorite - Weekend at Bernie’s,” he said, coaxing her to fill the space. Finnick gave her a casual glance. She had prepared herself for an awkward conversation, but instead she was greeted with her favorite sight - cheerful, handsome Peeta. _Finnick must have kept my little freak out to himself_ , she thought gratefully as she strode to the couch and plopped down between Peeta and Annie.

 

Katniss was exhausted from the afternoon’s emotional roller coaster and could use some downtime, but sitting so close to Peeta was distracting. Especially now that she knew how he really felt about her. All of her senses were heightened automatically; his warmth infused her, his scent soothed her, and his touch sparked something in her as his arm came to rest across her shoulders. She leaned into him, testing the feel of being more than his friend. It felt nice. While it didn’t seem at all terrifying or claustrophobic, it was different, something she couldn’t explain, and a strange excitement fluttered alive inside her. Maybe this wouldn’t be a huge mistake after all.

 

“Katniss, we missed you,” Annie said. “Where have you been all afternoon?”

 

“I went for a hike. Got some fresh air,” Katniss replied, relaxing into Peeta. His arm tightened around her, pulling her closer. She could feel his solid chest against her cheek, the rise and fall of it with his breathing, and hear his steady heartbeat underneath it. It was like a lullaby, sending her into a peaceful slumber while Peeta’s hand stroked her hair softly. She faintly registered Annie saying something about how cute they looked, and how happy she was for them. Katniss ignore it, content to be where she was.

 

What seemed like only moments later, Katniss was slightly jostled, and felt herself being lifted from the couch by strong arms. She instinctively wrapped hers around the person’s neck. “Peeta?” she whispered, hoping it was him. She knew it was, after years of being so close with someone you just knew what they felt like, how they moved. He shushed her quietly, and she sensed they were ascending the stairs to their room.

 

Momentarily forgetting that Peeta had no access to her thoughts, she nuzzled her face into his neck, and out of the sheer euphoria of the moment, placed a kiss on the skin under his jaw. Peeta froze inside the door to the room. It was dark, with just a casting glow of moonlight across his face. Katniss could tell by the lines etched in his brow that he was confused. It surprised her that she actually felt less confused than he looked.

 

Peeta didn’t move or speak for several minutes, and Katniss dared not break the silence. She was terrible at expressing herself with words, but she knew how to act. Action was her strong suit. Her eyes darted between Peeta’s mouth and eyes, lingering longer and longer on his lips, but before she could press hers to them, Peeta moved, walking her to the bed. He laid her down and pulled a blanket over her.

 

“Goodnight, Katniss,” he said, and moved to the pallet he had made for himself on the floor.

  
Katniss stared at the ceiling for most of the night, listening to Peeta’s even breaths. She tried to think of him as she had just days ago - as only a friend, but she found it was impossible. She had crossed a threshold in her mind that she could not return from, no matter how many attempts she made. He rolled over three times, she counted, before he woke at 4 a.m. to go to work, and it was only after he left that she was able to sleep, and fitfully at best, amid dreams of losing her best friend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is a mess. My mind is disorganized, and I have no outline for this at all, plus I’m trying to pack and clean out the garage for a garage sale, and there’s so much work to be done! And we can’t forget our mommy and wifely privileges - laundry, cooking, playing, etc. (The etc. is for you young’uns) But I want to write, too! So I didn’t have time to read over it much. I meant to post last night but I fell asleep. Which is where I got the Katniss falling asleep on Peeta bit… playing with her hair and snuggling like a cute little bug in a warm little rug. ;) Please excuse my errors if there were any! 
> 
> I want to explain the kiss real quick, since it may seem sudden. Katniss fell asleep kind of happy and thinking about ‘more than friends’ with Peeta, and you know how when you get woken up and you’re kind of groggy and say or do strange things? That’s why. She was groggily happy. And Peeta’s like - I don’t know what’s going on, but you are not my Katniss. Goodnight. Lol. I have got a doozy in store for this one… so stick around! I may miss a day or two here and there, but I want to complete this so bear with me! And don’t forget to talk to me. I LOVE hearing from you! Smooches, Pbg


	7. Date Night

Part 7

 

A few days had gone by since the late night kiss, and anytime Katniss thought of it, which was frequently, she cringed in embarrassment. What had she been thinking? She hadn’t, that much was obvious to her. Katniss defaulted to the only motivation she knew how to deal with - fear. Over the three nights that followed, she dutifully avoided Peeta; working late, hanging around Finnick and Annie, staying in group form just in case Peeta tried to ask her what it meant or she lost her mind and tried to kiss him again. Which was a real threat since she’d caught herself daydreaming of it repeatedly. The feel of his stubble underneath her lips was a memory she found curiously exhilarating, and she hadn’t gotten much rest sleeping in the same room with him.

 

Arriving home from work an hour later than she should have, Katniss found Peeta waiting for her on the couch, dressed smartly in khakis and an orange plaid button down. She wanted to comb her fingers through his neatly styled hair. She preferred it mussed and rumpled. Her stomach flared with nervous energy at the sight of his beautiful smile.

 

“I was waiting for you,” he said. “You want to grab some dinner with me?” The thought of being alone with Peeta, no matter how many times they’d done it in the past, was petrifying. Everything was so new to her. She had never felt this way around him and she had no clue how to handle it. Avoidance wasn’t going to work tonight. Even Gale had never made her this anxious.

 

“Uh… sure, sure. Give me a few minutes to change,” Katniss answered, making her way to the stairs and wondering since when she ever cared what she wore in front of Peeta. “Do you think Finnick and Annie want to go?” she yelled down, hoping some company would keep things from being too awkward.

 

“They’re out doing wedding stuff,” Peeta replied. So this was a date, then. At least, she felt like it was a date. Peeta hadn’t actually asked her to go on one, but he did ask her to go to dinner. Was it a date? Katniss was so confused. _What if he didn’t think it was a date? How do you know if it’s really a date?_ The questions assaulted her as she stood in front of her closet, carding through a mess of jeans, cargo pants and plain shirts. None of these were good enough. For the first time in her life Katniss chided herself for being so practical. Maybe Annie had something she could borrow?

 

Katniss crept down the stairs, thankful for her small size and silent stride, checked to see Peeta flipping through a copy of Williams Sonoma, then tiptoed into Finnick and Annie’s room. Annie definitely had more than just pants and boring tops. She almost had too much to choose from and in a rainbow variety of colors. Katniss opted for a fitted, cotton gray dress with a scoop neck and ruching at the sides, pulling the fabric just to mid-thigh. Perfect. It wasn’t too colorful or too dressy, and it fit Katniss like a glove. Thankful she and Annie wore the same size shoe, she donned a strappy black sandal with a small heel, then grabbed a simple, silver charm necklace she had seen Annie wear a dozen times. She rebraided her hair in their bathroom mirror and pronounced herself ready to go.

 

“Ready?” she asked, stepping into the living room. Peeta stood, dropping his catalog onto the coffee table and froze when he turned to look at her. The way his eyes moved over her figure, and his mouth parted in what Katniss could only determine was surprise, made her even more anxious, but with a small amount of courage mixed in.

 

“Peeta, you’re staring,” Katniss said, pulling the sides of her dress down. “Should I change?”

 

“No, not at all. It’s perfect,” Peeta complimented her, although he was so quiet Katniss had to strain to hear it. “You just don’t usually wear… that.” Katniss blushed at his apparent speechlessness. It wasn’t often Peeta couldn’t find something charming to say, and to be the cause of his current dumbstruck state was strangely delightful.

 

Peeta drove them to their favorite hangout, a little dive bar with great cheeseburgers and the best fries in town. He guided her to a tiny booth in the corner with his hand on her back. Katniss would normally have not even noticed his touch, but even the slightest pressure of his fingertips on her body made her skin breakout in goosebumps. She shivered and rubbed her arms after taking a seat at the table.

 

“Are you cold?” Peeta asked. Katniss shook her head and grabbed the battered menu stuck between the ketchup bottle and napkin holder. Even though she, and most likely Peeta, knew what she was having, she needed a distraction to get herself together. The place was busy enough to keep their waitress occupied, so Peeta went to the bar in search of drinks, leaving Katniss to continue absently perusing the menu. She was thankful for the moment of respite, and lowered her menu to watch him as he walked away. Allowing her eyes to take in his broad shoulders and narrow waist, Katniss tried so hard not to check out the backside of his well-fitting khakis. She wondered if Peeta had felt the same enchantment earlier at the apartment that she was feeling now. It was difficult for Katniss to drag her eyes away from his form, but she did it anyway before he could look back at her and catch her staring. She’d had enough embarrassment for one week.

 

Katniss scrolled through her phone, answering a few messages from Annie about how her night was going, then flipping through a few boring work emails. When she finished, Peeta was still not back with their drinks. She flitted her eyes up to the bar where she had last seen him standing, her eyes widening in shock at the pretty red-head standing too close to him. They seemed to be engaged in conversation, and from the girl’s profile Katniss could tell she was laughing at something Peeta had said. Katniss watched, horrified for a moment when the girl slapped her hand on Peeta’s chest in a flirtatious manner. Peeta smiled, but it seemed more polite than inviting and Katniss let out a breath when he turned back to the bartender, displaying the number 2 with his fingers. _Hurry up, Peeta,_ she thought. Her throat was parched and her nerves were on high alert. She needed that beer.

 

She also needed him away from that girl. Katniss slipped out of the booth quickly and toward Peeta when the frisky brunette slid her hand up Peeta’s arm to his shoulder. She had no idea where her sudden possessiveness was coming from, but it was so strong she didn’t think she could squelch it if she tried. Before she could squeeze herself between them, however, the bartender handed Peeta their drinks and he turned to leave. “See you around,” he said to the girl casually. _Not likely,_ Katniss thought, flashing the girl an unpleasant look.

 

“Hey,” Peeta greeted her as she strode up to him, just inches from his chest. She made sure to give him a sweet smile and slowly pull her bottle from his hand while the girl looked on. What she wanted to do was kiss him full on the lips, glistening from a drink of his beer, but that would probably make things more awkward. And then they would have to talk about feelings. No, predatory was better at this point, she convinced herself, taking his hand and leading him back to the booth.

 

“Are you okay?” Peeta asked her after they were settled back in their places.

 

“I’m fine, why?” Katniss answered, avoiding his gaze. Before he could answer, she motioned to the waitress that they were ready and she ordered for herself as well as Peeta. She knew his favorite - a mushroom-swiss burger, cooked medium well, with curly fries. The lopsided grin he gave her made her stomach flip, and she took the opportunity to ask him about his day and how work was going since he moved out. He admitted that his mother was making things difficult, and he was considering starting up his own bakery sooner than he had planned. He would need to borrow a portion of the funds from the bank, but he was pretty sure he could get it off the ground and make it work. Katniss had no doubt that he would be successful.

 

The rest of their conversation flowed easily, just like they had a few weeks ago before the engagement, and Katniss didn’t take her eyes off of him once. It was strange how much more she noticed about him now that she was starting to see him differently. Not that she noticed more, really, just that she saw who he already was in a new light. A light that also illuminated new feelings in her.

 

After a few more drinks and a lot of laughs between them, Peeta announced it was time to go. He had to be up early again. Dealing with his mother was difficult anyway, but dealing with her on very little sleep was near impossible, even for Peeta. Katniss swayed a little on her feet, not unhappy about being a little tipsy since Peeta felt the need to escort her to his car with his arms around her waist. They passed the brunette, and Katniss gave her a small wave and a wink. She knew nothing would happen between her and Peeta that night, but the flirty girl didn’t have to know that.

 

Peeta went up the stairs first, Katniss following him with her hands secured to the waistline of his khakis, his hands snug around her wrists, dragging her up with him. He let go of her after they entered the room and Katniss climbed onto the bed while Peeta went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. A minute later she heard the water running and the sounds of Peeta brushing his teeth. _Dangit._ She had completely forgotten her hygiene. Now she had to drag herself out of her comfortable bed and go into the bathroom. It might be cute, though, and a little domestic if they were to brush their teeth side by side.

 

She sobered up quickly, though, when she opened the door. Peeta was brushing his teeth alright, but he was completely uncovered. His clothes were in a pile at her feet and steam was billowing from the top of the shower. Katniss couldn’t look away. It was like watching two trains about to collide in a horrible but glorious accident. She could see every inch of his backside, which she could only term as magnificent, and every ripple of muscle from his shoulders to his calves was perfect.

 

“Katniss!” Peeta yelled, looking at her in the mirror. His tone shocked her out of her reverent examination of him. She jumped back and slammed the door, yelling “sorry” back at him. He emerge seconds later with a towel around him. Katniss hadn’t moved from in front of the door, frozen in awe. The front view was as good as the back, and she had a hard time keeping her eyes from traveling down the hard planes of his abs to his… _under-the-towel_ area. She forced herself to look into his eyes, bright as sapphires.

 

“I’m sorry,” Katniss blurted out. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” He had never yelled at her before, and she knew she must have made him mad walking in on him like that. She would have been furious if the situation were reversed.

 

“It’s fine, Katniss. I wasn’t expecting you to walk in on me. I was just surprised is all.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. Forgive me?” She was going to do a lot more than forgive him if he didn’t take his hands off her quickly. She shrugged them off lightly and stepped back, trying to put some space between his mostly naked body and her awakening hormones.

 

“I’m sorry I walked in on you, I, I thought you were brushing your teeth… with clothes on,” Katniss added.

 

“I don’t care if you see me, I just don't’ want things to be awkward between us. We had a really good time tonight, you know, and things felt like they were back to normal. I don’t want to ruin that,” he admitted. Like much of her current life, Katniss couldn’t explain the crushed feeling in her chest at hi words. He wanted things to be _normal_ between them. Maybe Finnick was wrong after all, and she would end up losing Peeta to someone else anyway, no matter how she felt about him.

 

“Maybe… maybe we should put up some boundaries then,” Katniss said reluctantly, trying to guard the disappointment she was feeling.

 

“That’s probably a good idea,” Peeta agreed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I was going to put him in a towel, but I thought, ‘why not go for the gold’, right? And thank you to hptk for the idea of having a girl flirt with Peeta and get Katniss all jealous. Thank you for all the encouraging reviews, kudos and bookmarks! I hope this chapter lived up to expectations. It's gonna get a little bumpy so buckle up! As always, I want to hear from you... don't be shy. :) Pbg


	8. No Turning Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving is awful! I never want to do it again. I’m tired, cranky, busy, and all I want to do is write Everlark! Updates may be coming every few days instead of daily. Lots to do! Okay, well, read this and let me know how the progression in fake engagement is going. Ta-ta for now!

Saturday morning Katniss awoke, rolling over to check the time on her phone that lay on the nightstand. She felt fine, that is until she remembered Peeta's words from the night before - about things going back to 'normal' and his concession that they should have boundaries. Sadness gripped her heart like a vice. She didn't know if she could handle _normal_ anymore. What was happening to her? Was this what it was like to.... _like_ someone? She wasn’t sure she was quite ready to admit she loved Peeta.

 

Katniss sat up in her bed, contemplating last night’s 'outing'. She wasn't calling it a date anymore, seeing as how it ended in a very platonic manner, at least on Peeta's end. Katniss couldn't recall a time ever that she had been so blatantly jealous of a girl hitting on her best friend, and she was positive that she had never acted so territorial over him. She didn't always like girls hitting on her Peeta, but normally she would have just made a sarcastic comment about it, and he would shake his head and they would joke about why he rarely went out on dates - ‘not his type’, or ‘too busy’ were his go-to reasons. Katniss was thankful his female attentions were few and far between, but she'd had no idea why until now.

 

 _Finnick_ , she fumed as her mind wandered to the reason for her new-found feelings. This was all his fault. If he had kept his mouth shut, then she wouldn't be feeling this way. She and Peeta would have laughed at the awkwardness of last night, instead of going to bed feeling she was headed down a lonely road, and like a piece of her would never be whole, even though now she wasn't sure it had ever been.

 

Fury hauled her to her feet, carrying her out of her bedroom and down the stairs to find her roommate.

 

“Finnick!” Katniss hollered, banging on the bedroom door.

 

“I had no idea you wanted me so bad, Katniss,” Finnick’s voice rang out from behind her. She jumped, turning in mid air to stare daggers at him.

 

“You lied,” she accused, having no patience to care about common courtesy.

 

“What are you talking about?” Finnick questioned her, looking puzzled.

 

“Peeta,” Katniss said, her voice breaking slightly to her surprise. “You told me he liked me; had always liked me. That he wanted me. It’s not true.” She wanted to scream at him and beat her fists against his chest for causing the pain she was so keenly aware of now. “He doesn’t, Finnick.”

 

“Did he tell you that?” he asked, looking surprised by Katniss’ information.

 

“Yes.” Katniss swallowed hard, finding the words difficult to admit. “He said he wanted things to be normal. Whatever that is now,” she added as a frustrated afterthought.

 

“And you told him you have feelings for him?” Finnick’ question dug into Katniss’ irritation. Did Finn know her at all?

 

“Not exactly,” she answered. Finnick sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “But I’ve been trying!” she cried, hoping that was the right thing to say. Katniss had no idea why she all of a sudden felt the need to please Finnick.

 

“Katniss, you trying to tell someone how you feel is like, like,” he paused, and Katniss wasn’t sure where he’d gone.

 

“Like?” she prodded.

 

“I don’t even know. But what I do know is this is getting ridiculous. Look,” he said, changing his stance and locking gazes with her, “do you love Peeta?” Katniss hesitated at his question. She hadn’t wanted to say it to herself, much less to anyone else, but maybe it was time to admit it.

 

“Yes. I… I love Peeta. There, are you _happy now_?” She replied, annoyance in her voice. Why was it so difficult? Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweating and Peeta wasn’t even anywhere near her. What would it be like if she had to say it to his face?

 

“It’s about time, Sweetheart. You’re coming with me,” Finnick ordered. Katniss didn’t move and as he brushed past her, she wondered where exactly he was wanting to take her. He cracked the bedroom door open. “Annie, I’m going to the bakery with Katniss. You want me to bring anything back for you?” Annie appeared in the doorway in a silk robe.

 

“I’ll just go with you if that’s okay. Last time only one cheese bun made it back to me,” she said, looking past Finnick. Katniss was so bewildered she didn’t even flush at the comment. She couldn’t have cared less in that moment that she had eaten part of Annie’s breakfast. Finnick was making her go down to the bakery? No. _No way was this about to happen_ , Katniss panicked in her head. She needed more time to prepare.

 

“I can’t,” she whispered after Annie had retreated back into the room to change, rendered almost mute from the extreme anxiety she felt inside.

 

“You can,” he whispered back, twirling her around and giving her a push toward the stairs. “Go get ready.”

 

Katniss didn’t know why she was following Finnick’s orders. She felt as if she were in an almost catatonic state, with no ability to make decisions, rational or otherwise. She put on jeans and a fitted t-shirt, slipped into a pair of Tom’s Peeta had given her for her birthday last year, and left her hair hanging down so she could hide her face if she felt the need.

 

They piled into the car, Annie rattling on about the china set they’d picked out a few weeks ago and how she hoped they would get all the pieces at their wedding shower this weekend. Apparently it was a crime to own an incomplete set. And then all too soon, there they were, standing in front of Mellark’s Bakery. Katniss froze, feet heavy as lead, hands hot as fire, heart quick as wind. She could see Peeta through the window, helping a customer. Finnick motioned her inside by widening his eyes and jerking his head at her. The expression he wore meant business, otherwise Katniss would have ignored him.

 

“All my favorite people in one place,” Peeta said cheerily as they approached him. “To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?” Katniss held her breath in apprehension of Finnick’s answer. The customer Peeta had been helping passed her on their way out, and part of Katniss wished she could follow them but the other part kept her in place. She _wanted_ to be near Peeta.

 

“Breakfast,” Finnick replied, and Katniss breathed again. It wasn’t over, but at least she knew she wasn’t going to be ratted out right in front of everyone.

 

“Annie, order me something. I need to use the men’s room,” Finnick said.

 

“Good morning, Katniss,” Peeta said to her. He was smiling, but it didn’t seem to reach his eyes. _Oh, God, it was weird. Things were going to be like this forever now_ , Katniss thought. Before Katniss could respond, Annie interrupted her thoughts.

 

“What kind of way is that to greet your future wife?” she scolded Peeta playfully. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were faking it. Peeta come give your fiance a proper greeting.” Katniss wasn’t sure exactly what Annie meant by a ‘proper greeting’, but she knew they were on the verge of being found out if they just stood there. Peeta stopped what he was doing and walked around the counter. He wrapped his arms around Katniss and enveloped her in a giant hug. His body against hers felt impossibly good, and her thoughts drifted back to the night before, walking in on him brushing his teeth. Katniss reciprocated, squeezing him tight, spilling all her emotions, chaste and otherwise, into it and hoping this one hug could set everything right between them.

 

“That’s no proper greeting,” Annie chided. “Kiss her!” Katniss’s mind raced with all the reasons they shouldn’t, but her body thrummed with the few reasons they should.

 

She felt his lips rest sweetly on her cheek, and through the dizziness his nearness was creating she whispered to him, “Remember, we’re madly in love so it’s alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it.” She had no idea where that came from. She felt him hesitate,and she knew why. It was completely unlike her to utter such amorous terms. Then, suddenly his lips were touching hers, soft but cautious. She was shocked for a moment, didn’t think it would be so quick that he responded to her, but soon she was pressing into him, and he back into her. If the way he hugged her felt impossibly good, this was a million times more thrilling. Katniss thought if she could freeze this moment, she may live in it forever.

 

“Oh, you guys!” she heard Annie gush sweetly. “You’re so perfect for each other! Rye, look, aren’t they going to make the best husband and wife?” Katniss froze at the mention of Rye, Peeta’s lips no longer comforting and enticing. She broke away from him and stumbled back, eyes searching the room for evidence of Annie’s witness, hoping it wasn’t true. Her heart sank when she saw him, standing in the door to the kitchen, and she didn’t even register the fear in Peeta’s eyes.

 

“You got something you need to tell us, little bro?” Rye asked just as Finnick reappeared from the back. Katniss’s heart began to beat wildly, in a completely different way than it had been just moments ago.

  
_This was bad. This was very, very bad._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally kissed! Yay! I loved writing that part. :) I have to admit, I’m a very upfront and direct person, so sometimes I fail to describe all that could go on, you know, feelings and senses and such. I hope I did well for you here. The next update will be in Peeta’s pov, so we can find out what this ‘fear’ is all about. Let me hear from you and thank you for all the comments and faves, follows, kudos, etc! It means a lot that people read and like my drivel. Pbg


	9. Not Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reviews! This is my most reviewed story so far! I guess it helps to update frequently. :) The reviews make me smile and laugh and have a great day! As always, I make my own mistakes. :)

 

 

Part 9

 

_Peeta’s POV_

 

The sound of Rye’s voice behind him startled Peeta too late. He was so lost in kissing Katniss, something he never thought he’d get to do, _ever,_ he hadn’t cared what could happen, and completely forgot Rye was in the kitchen. Of course, he also hadn’t imagined Annie would announce their situation like she did. A kiss he could explain, but marriage to Katniss? That was another issue altogether. Lord knew it was time, though. At almost twenty-eight he needed to find someone and settle down. The problem was, he didn’t want anyone but Katniss, and he wasn’t sure he could have her any other way than strictly platonic. Though, now after they’d played the part of romantic interests, he wasn’t sure he could go back.

 

And if his mother found out... Peeta shuddered thinking of the implications that little nugget of information would bring down on him. But Rye knew how he felt about his best friend, had known for some time, and he had been supportive, if not a little intrusive about Peeta taking so long to make a move. He hoped with everything in him that Rye wouldn’t open his mouth about it. Not now at least.

 

"You haven't told your family?" Annie asked him, her voice raising a whole octave in disbelief. Looking to Katniss, Peeta was sure he would find no help there. He was the one with the words and 'the way', as Katniss liked to call it. She seemed as bewildered as he felt, but she spoke up in spite of the awkward situation and surprised Peeta.

 

"It's all so new," Katniss explained. "We haven't really had a chance to tell the people closest to us."

 

"Thanks for that," Finnick said dryly.

 

"That's not what I mean and you know it. I meant family," Katniss answered back.

 

"Again-"

 

"I get it Finnick,” she scolded him, raising the face of her palm in his direction. “Remember, I'm no good with words." Peeta couldn't help the grin that broke across his face as he watched Katniss turn her attention to his brother, fumbling her way through an explanation. She told Rye how she realized she had feelings for Peeta, how it was just meant to be, and even threw in a 'what did you expect?, to which Rye just shrugged his shoulders and agreed it was about time, although he didn’t look fully convinced to Peeta.

 

The way she took ownership of their situation, though, endeared her even more to Peeta, if it were possible. She was shaky for sure, a little apprehensive, shooting Peeta looks for confirmation as she took tentative steps toward him and wrapped her arm around his waist. He liked it. He liked the freedom Katniss seemed to feel in a show of feelings for him, even if those feelings weren't real, and for a moment he allowed himself to pretend that they were. He responded to her affections by resting his arm over her shoulders and pulling her to his side. She relaxed into him and he turned his face into her cheek, grazing the tip of his nose along her skin. He felt her shiver and her fingers curled into his back, fisting his shirt in her palm. It made him happy. Peeta didn't know if he'd get to do anything like this again, and he remembered the promise he'd made to himself - that he would enjoy the closeness even if it pained him later. As long as Katniss didn't get hurt he would be okay.

 

"Well, I'm glad," Rye announced. "I see how happy this makes Peeta, and obviously you, too, Katniss,” Rye winked at her, “so welcome to the family." Peeta exhaled in relief as Rye came around the corner to give them both a hug, and Peeta whispered to him not to say anything to their mother, that he would tell her when he felt it was right. Rye nodded and Peeta knew he understood.

 

"I better get back to work," Peeta said reluctantly to Katniss as a few customers came in. Rye disappeared into the kitchen and Finnick was helping himself to some pastries in the case. Peeta squeezed Katniss in a tight, quick hug, then released her to return to the counter. He could swear he felt her hesitate, as if maybe she didn't want to let him go.

 

"Alright," she said. "Can we talk later?"

 

Peeta eyed her playfully. "Katniss, we talk everyday. Today will be no different."

 

She let out a short laugh. "I guess you're right. We need to talk, though." The way she uttered the phrase 'we need to talk' sent Peeta's heart racing. He had no idea why. None of this was real, anyway, so it wasn't like she could break it off with him, but his greatest fear was that he would wake up with no Katniss at all in his life. She must have sensed the alarm he was feeling because she added, "The reunion is next week." Peeta's heart slowed a bit, realizing it wasn't what he feared, and he suppressed a devilish grin. It was almost show time. A part of him was thrilled he would get to have Katniss on his arm, possibly draped over him if God saw fit to grant his greatest desires, in front of Gale Hawthorne. He hated that guy.

 

He was also sad things would go back to normal after the reunion was over. Well, not completely normal. They would still be living together, and in the same room for a while until Finnick and Annie moved out. He may not be able to control himself if he and Katniss got used to playing around, kissing and cuddling like they had been for the circle they were in. Suddenly, Peeta realized talking was a necessity, and the boundaries they had agreed to set the night before were desperately needed if they were going to keep their friendship.

 

"You coming, Katniss?" Finnick asked, dropping a twenty on the counter, a white Mellark’s bag of treats in his hand so full the top wouldn’t fold over.

 

"I'll meet you out there," she answered. Finnick nodded at her with a strange look in his eye, said goodbye to Peeta and ushered a giddy Annie, going on about how wonderful it was her friends were so in love, out of the store. Katniss waited by the front table, picking at a warm cheese bun while Peeta helped the customers. When he had taken their payment and thanked them for their business, Katniss ambled her way behind the counter.

 

"So, I'll see you later?" _Hadn't they already said they would see each other later?_ Peeta questioned silently, confused by Katniss's odd behavior. She continued to close the space between them and the pace of his heart picked back up. He wasn't complaining - he always wanted to be near Katniss - but she never behaved this way. At least, not when they were alone. For their friends, and now Rye, she had stepped up the act, but alone they were still just friends.

 

"Yeah, I'll be seeing you later," he said, trying to sound casual while looking down into the silver eyes that often appeared in his dreams. She was so close. Too close. Peeta seemed to know exactly what to do when he was away from her, but as soon as she came near all he wanted to do was what he shouldn't. To his awe, Katniss raised up on her tiptoes and timidly pressed her lips to his. As much as he liked it, didn't want it to stop, he pulled back just enough to speak. "Katniss, no one is watching..." He trailed off, hoping she would understand without him having to ask the question 'why are you kissing me'. Peeta couldn't think of a worse way to kill the mood if that was what she wanted.

 

"Rye," she murmured, sounding slightly short of breath. "Rye is in the kitchen." _Oh._ Peeta's thoughts turned bitter. _I shouldn't have expected anything else._ He closed his eyes to shield the hurt he felt, _not that she was able to see it, recognize anything beyond her own feelings._ He knew better. Katniss was just keeping up appearances in case Rye surprised them again. His heart became heavy from despair, and Peeta understood in that moment that he had allowed himself to hope too much. He watched his heart walk right out the door and into Finnick’s car.

 

“Hey, bro,” Rye called, his head poking through the door. “You got a minute?” He did, but he didn’t want to share it with anyone. That was to say, he didn’t want to share it with anyone but Katniss. Peeta took a deep breath, hoping it would rid him of some of the misery pressing down on him. _Nope,_ he thought as he entered the kitchen.

 

“Peeta, what is going on? There’s no way you asked Katniss to marry you without telling me, man.” Rye was right - he hadn’t been the one to ‘ask’. And he’d had no one to talk to about the seriousness of his situation. He had tucked all of the stress of his feelings for Katniss in a messy little box inside him, having to keep them under wraps while he went on pretending he was fake in love with her, which was easy. Turning it off was the hard part. It was like struggling to close up a fire hydrant of emotion.

 

Feeling the weight of their lie, Peeta broke, letting out the truth. “It’s not real.” The words he’d thought so many times to himself hurt worse when spoken.

 

“Excuse me?” Rye questioned. “I mean, she’s not the best actress, but she seemed to be as in love as Katniss Everdeen could be. Do you not love her anymore?”

 

Peeta gave Rye an incredulous look. “What? Of course I do! This was her idea. I - I… she looked in love?” he asked, interrupting the rant he was about to burst into, his bitterness from before popped like a straight pin to a balloon. “WIth _me_?” he added, pointing back at himself unconvinced.

 

Rye hoisted himself up on the counter to use it as a chair, something their mother hated. He answered Peeta, expressing his shock with flailing arms and widened eyes. “Dude, I have never seen Katniss look like that. Ever. Whatever you’ve done, keep doing it.”

 

Peeta ran a hand through his hair, leaving a trail of white powder in it’s wake. “I haven’t _done_ anything. It’s all a ruse because Gale wants her back. She told him we were engaged and then he blabbed it to Del-”

 

“Wait, so you’re not engaged?”

 

“No,” Peeta admitted dejectedly. He may as well face the truth at some point. He had been living a lie; sharing the same room with Katniss, watching her sleep in the wee hours of the morning before he went to work, taking her on fake dates. _And the kissing_ , he groaned inwardly. Although that was a recent development, he knew he would miss her lips greatly.

 

“Peeta, you have to tell her how you feel. It’s time, bro,” Rye advised him. “It’s time to tell her or move on. You gotta think about yourself now. You can’t go your entire life as friends.” Peeta’s silence prompted Rye to invade his thoughts more. “What, are you just never going to marry? You don’t want kids? A house? A-”

 

“Rye, you know I want all those things! I just... want them with Katniss.” Hearing his own agonizing words was like taking a sledgehammer to his carefully constructed wall. Peeta knew he had no choice now - it was put up or shut up. There was no way he could go back to the normal of two weeks ago. By this time tomorrow, they would be in a real relationship, or it would be over.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Duh, duh, duh!!! I have to admit, this was not where I was taking this chapter, and I literally have no clue where tomorrow’s chapter will go. Thoughts and help would be appreciated! I think I need to derail this little chat until the reunion, where I can have all sorts of drama, (including my favorite kind of drama - the love triangle). Has anyone seen the tumblr post about the Everlark scalene love triangle? We Everlarked geometry! Our awesome fandom will take over the world, folks. Okay, well until tomorrow, ta-ta lovelies! Pbg


	10. Fight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, you guys are gonna hate me. I feel like Peeta has been ‘hijacked’ in this situation, and the stress of pretending gets to him in this chapter. Don’t worry, though, I like my Everlark happily ever after, so I promise some feels in the next one! Bring on your thoughts. I’m ready. Btw - this is sooooo unbeta’d. I literally wrote, did a quick spell check, and posted! Btw - 2 pov's in this one...K is first.

Walking into the large department store, Katniss took in the ornate surroundings as she followed Annie to customer service. They were there to add a few items to Annie’s registry, and she had asked Katniss to accompany her since Finnick had a honey-do list to get done. Katniss hadn’t wanted to come. She hated shopping and stores, especially the kind that assaulted its patrons with a sickly-sweet aroma as soon as they entered, and she had to choke back the gagging cough threatening to break forth.

 

Katniss had agreed to come for two reasons - one,  Annie was her friend; and two, she needed a distraction until Peeta came home from work. They had agreed to ‘talk’, and Katniss had never felt so nervous before. She couldn’t stay still enough to sit down, but standing up felt like it was draining her of all her energy, so she came with Annie to get her mind on something besides revealing to Peeta all of her terrifying feelings.

 

Annie retrieved the special gun the store used to allow customers to tag their wish list items, and they set off in the direction of the home department. “I need to pick a new china pattern,” she explained. “The store called me yesterday to tell me that the South Hampton design I chose was discontinued so they can’t guarantee they’ll have it in stock.” Katniss glanced around the spacious, cluttered department, eyeing some slightly more interesting things than china.

 

“I’ll just be over here,” she informed Annie, pointing to the baking section. It wasn’t her thing, but it was Peeta’s, and she couldn’t help being pulled in that direction. She browsed thoughtfully through the displays, picking up items that reminded her of him; a handheld ravioli press, a cookie cutter set in ‘happy chef’ silhouettes, spatulas in various sizes and shapes, mini baking cups in the color orange that was Peeta’s favorite. Katniss came across a recipe book called _Alcohol Infused Cupcakes._ Picking it up, she flipped through it, her stomach beginning to rumble at the delicious looking pictures. She suddenly had a desire to make cupcakes for a baker, as ludicrous as it sounded, and finding the book on sale decided she could use it to keep herself busy for the afternoon, and end up with something to give Peeta as a bonus, as well as help lead her into the conversation.

 

She imagined exactly how the dialogue would start - _‘Katniss, we need to talk,”_ he would say _. “First, have a mini alcoholic cupcake or two, sweetie,”_ she would say back, popping one into his mouth and hoping it would make him more agreeable to her confession. She chuckled at the silliness of her thoughts. _Yes, alcohol was indeed on the menu for tonight_ , she concluded.

 

“Whatcha got there?” Annie asked, coming up behind Katniss.

 

“Just a cupcake book. I thought I’d try my hand at domesticity,” she answered, blushing. Katniss felt goofy admitting any of this to Annie. She was still coming to terms with her feelings for Peeta, and she hadn’t really said much to her friend on the subject. Of course, Annie was so busy planning her wedding and her future as a married woman that she hadn’t asked, and Katniss was completely fine with it. The less she had to say to anyone else besides Peeta, the better off she considered herself.

 

“That’s so adorable!” Annie gushed, clutching at her heart with a wistful look on her face. Katniss smiled to herself, snatching up the little orange baking cups before they left.

“I need to stop by the liquor store on the way home.”

 

* * *

 

 

The kitchen was the worst possible place Katniss could be. She actually wanted to build a house sans kitchen. That would be her perfect abode. Of course, that particular house wouldn’t include a particular blue-eyed baker, seeing as how that was his favorite room.

 

Katniss located a spatula and began stirring the ‘wet’ ingredients. She didn’t understand why all the ingredients, wet or dry, couldn’t just go in the stupid bowl at the same time. It would all end up in there together anyway, so why wait?

 

“Slowly combine dry ingredients,” she said to herself, reading from the recipe. She’d had to set something heavy on top of the book, trying to flatten out the spine to keep the pages from flipping closed. That, combined with her disorganized style of baking and her aggressive nerves, made for an entirely different kind of recipe - disaster. Reaching around for the bowl of blended, white powders, Katniss knocked over the bottle of tequila she’d used to prop the book open, sending it toppling towards the floor. In her haste to catch it before it broke into pieces, she elbowed the wet ingredients, turning the bowl over and spilling the oil, tequila, sugar, and eggs down the side of the cabinets.

 

She cursed quietly, surveying her situation, unbroken tequila bottle in her hand. At least she still had that. She tried to step around the greasy mess on the tile to grab a roll of paper towels, but her short legs couldn’t quite make it over the growing puddle of mix. Katniss slipped, her feet coming out from under her, but not before she tried to right herself, her fingertips grazing the lip of the dry ingredient bowl. She fell to the ground, yelping as her butt connected with tile, legs splayed in different directions. Katniss was frozen in shock wondering what she should do. In situations like these, it was almost incomprehensible where to start, and only seconds later, she felt something light raining down on her, then saw a waterfall of white cascading down in front of her eyes. The dry ingredient mixing bowl had turned on its side, allowing the baking powders their freedom.

 

Tears of frustration and anger threatened to flow, and the contents of what was left in the bottle called to her. Why had she thought she could do this? It was so simple, and Peeta made it look effortless. But she wasn’t Peeta, wasn’t even fit to be his fake fiancee, much less a real one. How could she tell him she had sincere feelings for him if she had nothing at all to offer him? Girlfriends and wives weren’t supposed to be slobs who didn’t clean their rooms and only did laundry when wearing their last pair of clean underwear, or incompetent in the kitchen, unable to complete even the simplest recipe. Even if Finnick were right, she thought as she unscrewed the cap on the bottle and turned it up to her lips, and Peeta did have feelings for her, there would be no way it would last when he realized all of her flaws.

 

* * *

  

The door slammed behind Peeta and he jumped. He hadn’t meant to shut it that hard. He must be more anxious than he thought about his conversation with Katniss. Work was over, he was home and if her car parked outside was evidence, so was she. He started towards the staircase when he saw the empty living room, then stopped abruptly upon smelling something very…. _sterile?_ Someone must have majorly disinfected the kitchen in the last, oh, five minutes or so for it to be so strong.

 

Peeta stepped into the kitchen, eyes wide as saucers at the scene - a dirty floor with what his baker’s eyes could only determine was a ruined batter, the counter tops strewn with all manner of baking products and wares, and in the middle of it all sat Katniss, dark hair turned as gray as her eyes from what he was pretty sure was flour. His eyes were immediately drawn to the mostly empty bottle in her hand.

 

“Katniss, what is that?” he questioned, pointing to her hand. “What’s going on?” He hadn’t thought he’d come home to _this_. Normal Katniss he was prepared for, but after the long day he’d had, drunk Katniss was another story. He would take her any way he could get her, but if she hadn’t been in a good mood before she’d begun whatever solitary drinking game she’d chosen, then this wouldn’t turn out well. Peeta could tell by the scowl on her face what mood had started this off.

 

“Who you are to ashk me whash goin’ on? I’m a grown big pershon, Mishter Mellark!” Her scowl turned to a giggle when she said his last name, and he supposed she was trying to point at him, but she missed by a longshot, her finger aimed more at the microwave across the room. “Do know you how closhe your lasht name ish to malarky?” She laughed more. “I think Ima give you a new nishname.”

 

Peeta exhaled a disappointed breath. He had just cleaned up the bakery and now he had to come home and clean up Katniss, too, when all he’d wanted to do was talk to her about his feelings. It had been a dreadful excitement that had built up in him all afternoon. Would she say her feelings were the same? Would she need time to think about it? Would she crush his heart with a confession that she’d only ever seen them as lifelong friends? Peeta had preferred to think about the first two, and mostly ignored the last possibility. But now it seemed as if none of them would happen tonight.

 

He walked towards Katniss, ire beginning to develop within. Tired and now annoyed, not a good combination, he grabbed at the bottle and helped her up less gently than he should have.

 

“Ow!” Katniss cried out. “Can’sht you be nishe to me, Malarky?” The new nickname and the grin that accompanied it annoyed Peeta further until he had no care for what he was saying.

 

“You mean like you’ve been nice to me? Pulling me into this engagement that I almost allowed myself to believe could be real?” The look on her face was a cross between confusion and pain, and it hurt Peeta to think he’d put it there, but not enough to stop him. Katniss was going to find out his feelings after all, even if she wasn’t in the state of mind to process them fully.

 

“You knew I would do anything for you, so instead of being truthful with your feelings about Gale you took the ‘Peeta’ way out,” he said, trying to keep his voice from rising with pent up frustration. “‘Peeta, pretend to be my date’, ‘Peeta, put your arm around me’, ‘Peeta, give me a kiss’, ‘Peeta, pretend you love me and want to marry me’,” he scolded her. “Did it ever occur to you that I do love you? That I do want my arms around you and to be able to kiss you anytime I please?” He yanked her closer, until their noses were inches apart and the scent of the alcohol on her breath was so close it could have intoxicated him as well. He lowered his voice to a pained whisper. “What if I do want to marry you?”

 

Katniss’s body felt like a rigid, frozen block of ice under Peeta’s firm grasp. Her face was morphing from hurt to hatred, but she hadn’t budged from his grip. Peeta imagined it was because everything was spinning and if she pulled away she would face plant on the floor.

 

Before Peeta could comprehend what was happening, Katniss’s palm collided with his cheek in a loud smack. He let go of her and raised his hand to feel heat surfacing on his skin. “That’s pretty good aim considering your state.” He hadn’t meant to continue to belittle her, but the pain he was feeling wouldn’t allow him to back down. Her eyes narrowed to slits and she spat out a few sobering words. She’d never spoken to him like that. Then again, he’d never dreamed anything like what he’d said would come out of his mouth towards her.

 

“DON’T talk to me ever again,” Katniss screamed at him before she haphazardly ascended the steps, tripping a few times and having to use her hands to steady her. Peeta was right behind her. Even if she didn’t want him there, he certainly wasn’t going to risk her taking a fall and getting hurt. He followed her into the bedroom, watching as she crossed to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

  
Peeta waited on the bed for half an hour before she came out, but as soon as Katniss saw him there, she turned around and locked herself back in. He waited another thirty minutes before he decided he would pack up some of his things and sleep over at Rye’s for a few nights. Hopefully she would calm down by then and they could clear everything up. It may not end romantically, but Peeta already felt acutely the loss of his best friend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to you, oh most loyal followers of this fake engagement drivel, the ending will rock your socks off! I’ve got the feels after this little fight. They may have had a super hot kiss if Katniss hadn’t slapped him in the face. Oops. Who wanted an angry kiss, huh?? Who thought I was going there? Frustrated passion in a dirty kitchen... dang. I may have to edit this. As always, thank you for reading and please, oh please, let me know how greatly I disappointed you! I know most of you are ready for them to get together already, but I just had to throw in one more curve ball. Pbg


	11. Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I need to explain chapter 10… I feel like it left everyone confused and frustrated. Welcome to the end of MJ, am I right? Lol. This will all be a rant, so skip it if you just wanna read! :) First, Katniss is not my favorite character. She doesn’t make my top 5, and yes, I feel terrible for having her slap him, but I forced him to express his feelings in a ‘hijacked’ way, if you will, or at least not in a way that she would have expected him to. As for the slap, Katniss did act on her anger in THG after Peeta announced the girl he loved came to the games with him and she thought he made her look weak. Plus she was drunk in my story, so you gotta give a girl some liberties! 
> 
> I have two more updates after this one planned, so we are close. I feel like a legit fanfic writer now thanks to all of your reviews! I usually write predictable fluff, so adding the drama and some angst was a first for me, and I guess I did okay cuz I made some of you mad. Read on, lovely followers! 
> 
> Warning - trust me. :) I owe you all a little fluff, so the first part is my apology for chapter 10! I’m gonna call this update a solid T+. Not quite M. Mistakes = Me.

_The cupcakes were perfect. Moist and spongy just the way Peeta would have made them. Katniss closed her fist around the icing bag and dragged the tip in a small circle, producing a flawless swirl of sugary topping on each cake. When all 24 cupcakes were finished, she stepped back to admire her work, a tinge of nerves rising as the door to the apartment opened and closed._

 

_Katniss smoothed down the ruffled, polka dot apron, dusting off a few spots of flour, then combed her fingers through her hair, loosening it from her braid and allowing it to fall over her shoulders in what she hoped was a seductive look. She had just finished when Peeta appeared in the doorway, hair mussed, blue eyes beaming mischieviously, and a cocky grin on his face that made him so achingly attractive Katniss thought her knees might give out on her right there._

 

_Peeta strode across the room, his eyes intently hooked to Katniss’s. Her stomach fluttered wildly at the passion she found in them, and she felt herself being drawn into his strong, muscular arms. He pressed her against his chest, holding her firmly, as if to say he would never let her go._

 

_“Did you mean it when you said I could kiss you anytime I want?” he asked, his lips just a breath away from hers._

 

_Katniss’ courage soared with his nearness, and she found the words she needed to express herself. “I want you to kiss me… always. I love you, Peeta.”_

 

_She wanted his kiss so badly that it seemed an eternity for his mouth to close the distance to hers, even though it was mere milliseconds, but when their lips connected it was like igniting an instant flame that licked and wound its way through her body. The sensation of tangling her hands in his hair, his palms pressing on her back and his fingers contracting to possess any part of her was powerful. They clawed at each other desperately, each pulling the other so close she thought they would physically become one person. Her insides melted when Peeta backed her into the counter, grabbing her knee and hooking her leg around his waist._

 

_A low moan escaped her throat, and Katniss had never thought she wanted his lips to leave hers until she felt them under her ear, down her neck, as they began to nip and suck at the hollow place he found between her neck and shoulder. She rolled her head to the side, reveling in what he could do with his mouth and excitement blazed a new trail straight through to her core, further weakening her legs with thoughts of what could happen between them._

 

_She felt Peeta’s hands fumbling behind her, untying the apron. In one quick motion it was gone and his hands were gliding underneath her shirt on the bare skin of her back. His palms were smooth and warm, and she gasped when he slid them to the front, just under her breasts. Every part of her body was sensitive to his touch, and the one leg Katniss was allowed to stand on threatened to give way._

 

_“I want you,” Peeta hummed into her neck, kissing his way to the other side. The vibrations of his voice against her skin was like warm honey soothing a dull ache; an ache Katniss never knew she had until now, and was rapidly increasing in its ferocity._

 

_“Katniss, I’ve always wanted you,” Peeta continued, his confession building the tension inside her until she thought she might burst from passion. As close as he was, it wasn’t close enough for her, but she knew she needed to give him more than just action. Peeta needed her words to understand how she felt_

 

_“I didn’t realize,” she said breathlessly. “But there could never be anyone else, Peet-aaaah!” she moaned in surprise as his palm began to expertly knead her breast, her words obviously spurring him on the same way his had done to her. God, it felt good to have his hands on her, and why she had ever waited so long to have him was lost on her._

 

_A bright light began to seep into the room, growing stronger until Katniss nuzzled her face in Peeta’s neck to keep it away. His perfectly torturous ministrations stopped, and she frowned in confusion when his solidness softened, enveloping her face further into his skin._

 

Lifting her head, Katniss saw white, but not the white of the t-shirt Peeta always wore to work. It was the white of her pillowcase. She glanced around the room, noting she was in her bed. _Where was Peeta?_ The thought was interrupted by a very acute pain shooting through her head. Groaning from the extreme discomfort, Katniss grabbed both sides of her head and laid back on the pillow. She needed aspirin to get rid of this ache. It was sunrise, and she remembered Peeta would be gone to work, so she carefully extracted herself from the bed, hoping to keep the throbbing to a minimum as she made her way to the bathroom.

 

No such luck as the smell of vomit assaulted her and she reeled backwards into the bedroom. Her stomach pitched and she felt nauseous. What had she done? Why did she feel this way? She couldn’t remember anything.

 

Katniss clambered down the stairs in search of answers. Maybe Finnick or Annie were home and could help her piece together what had caused her stomach to turn and her head to pound so violently. She may have to call in to work today.

 

Turning into the kitchen, she stopped short, her mind focused on the dream she had woken from. She eyed the counter where, in her dream, Peeta had pressed into her. An empty bottle and a note underneath it occupied the space behind it, and Katniss moved as quick as her aching head would allow to see what it was.

 

A note from Peeta. Lifting the bottle to move it aside, Katniss smelled something familiar, the note forgotten. Her mind raced to remember - a greasy mess, darkened blue eyes, heated words. A hand against skin…

 

“Oh my God,” Katniss groaned, forgetting about the note and sinking down onto the floor - the floor she now remembered had been covered in batter from her attempt at making cupcakes. He must have cleaned it.

 

“I hit him,” she said out loud.

 

“Hit who?” Finnick asked, appearing in the room out of nowhere. Katniss’ head popped up at the sound, and she flinched in discomfort at the sudden movement. She needed to talk to someone, and Finnick already knew most of what was going on anyway, so it may as well be him.

 

“Peeta,” Katniss answered quietly. “I, I... _slapped_ him. Across his cheek!” Her face felt like it was taking on all shades of red at once, from shock to outrage to anger at her behavior. Disbelief that she could have done something so heinous, something his mother had done to him in his childhood years, poured through her veins like ice water. There she had been, about to tell him she loved him, only to act like the one person in the world who Peeta was sure _didn’t_ love him. “He’ll never believe my feelings are real now.”

 

Finnick knelt down beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her. Katniss didn’t think anyone’s touch but Peeta’s could help her now, but she allowed it.

 

“Katniss, one fight, arguably your first one as an actual couple, doesn’t make everything go away. You don’t fall out of love with someone that quick. Especially someone you feel so strongly about, like the two of you do.”

 

“But I _hit_ him. Like his awful mother! There’s no way he can forgive me for that, Finn.”

 

“Peeta would forgive anything you did, Katniss. That’s why you have to tell him how you feel. You’ve got his heart in your hands, and he won’t take it back so _you’re_ the one that has to decide what you’re going to do with it,” he said, poking his finger into her arm for emphasis.

 

“You think I still have a chance?” Katniss asked him hopefully, all pretenses evaporated.

 

“You have no competition, sweetheart,” Finnick said, his lips turning up in amusement. “That boy would stay single for the next two decades if there were any indication he could have you.”

 

Katniss was surprised that Finnick’s words actually did bring her comfort, anticipation even, that Peeta would forgive her. She hopped up quickly, her head swimming with the motion, reminding her of her hungover state. She gingerly picked her way through the kitchen, calling back to Finnick.

 

“Would you find me three aspirin and bring them to my room? I’m going to call into work and then try to find Peeta.” She never saw Finnick wad up the forgotten note and toss it into the trash.

 

 

Peeta felt his phone vibrate in his pocket for the tenth time that morning. He had a pretty good feeling most of the calls were from Katniss, but he didn’t want to answer them right then. He was busy looking at potential properties for his new bakery. He was hoping he could find one with an upper residence area so he could move into it. The way things had ended with Katniss the night before made Peeta certain he would be moving out, even if he didn’t really want to. He needed to, and when Katniss found the note he had left telling her he couldn’t fake it anymore, and retracting his promise for the reunion, he knew things between them would be awkward for a while. It was best to put some space between them.

 

Peeta looked up at the building in front of him, the third one he’d visited that morning. It was cute, in a good location and he was hopeful for the first time that day. He turned, hearing the shuffle of footsteps behind him.

 

“Hi, I’m Lavinia,” the property’s manager introduced herself to Peeta, holding out her hand. Peeta took it, and was pleasantly surprised at the feel of it, smooth with soft, milky-white skin and manicured nails. She was pretty. Red hair styled in a sleek ponytail, radiant green eyes, a navy jacket and pencil skirt that fit her slight curves like a glove, and heels that made her toned calves flex with each step. Her dazzling smile was contagious, and he found himself smiling back at her.

 

“I’m Peeta,” he said. He let go of her hand so she could unlock the door. They moved inside, Peeta’s eyes scanning the room, surveying the layout and how it would fit with the plans in his head. He would have to do some rearranging, but all that could be done in a month’s time. He had enough to get started and live minimally for at least six months. What he needed right then was a place to live.

 

“Can I see the apartment?” he asked.

 

“Sure, it’s this way,” Lavinia motioned to the back. They walked from the spacious front room, through the equally sized kitchen, Peeta’s eyes quickly roaming its contents - two large ovens, two dishwashers and plenty of counter space and storage - into a storeroom with a winding, black iron staircase. It squeaked a little as Peeta followed her up the stairs.

 

The apartment was perfect. It had two medium-sized bedrooms, more than he needed, a good sized jack and jill bathroom, and one large open space for the kitchen and living area. The windows in the room were enormous, and let in tons of natural light. He loved it. What would be the chances he would find exactly what he was looking for on the first day?

 

“The rent is a little high for me,” Peeta said. “Is there any room for negotiation?”

 

“The owner isn’t usually flexible, but since it’s been sitting for a few months he might make an exception. Plus, I like you so let me make a call and see what I can do.” The way she spoke to him, and the glint in her eye when she said she liked him, told Peeta she was doing more than just being nice. He knew what flirting looked like. He knew what he wanted it to look like on Katniss. _Katniss_. She would love this place. No matter how hard he tried, or what good things came along, his mind would go back to her, the one spot in his life that was both bright and dim at the same time.

 

Lavinia came back into the room, putting her cell phone away. She had a satisfied smile on her face. “The owner says if you’d be willing to put up three months rent instead of two, he would come down $75 on the monthly payment.” That was better than nothing. It was still right at the top of his budget, but he doubted he would find so perfect a set up anyplace else.

 

“I’ll take it,” Peeta said. “When can I move in?”

 

“I’ll draw up the contract today, and as soon as you sign it you can have the keys,” she answered. “Here’s my card. I’ll be in touch, but feel free to call me anytime.” Peeta glanced at the card, then slipped it into his wallet, not sure if he would need it or not.

 

He had lots to do to get ready for this quick move, so he said goodbye to Lavinia and drove to Rye’s, the only place he knew where he would be comfortable. Rye was still working, training a new employee to replace Peeta at his parent’s bakery, and he was thankful he would be alone for the rest of the day. He turned off his phone, determined to have some peace and quiet, and once inside Rye’s apartment he crashed on the couch, out cold until Rye came through the door hours later.

 

“What time is it?” Peeta asked, groggy from his midday slumber.

 

“Hey to you, too,” Rye answered, feigning hurt. “It’s ten after four.” Peeta sat up, quickly grabbing his phone and turning it back on, ignoring Rye’s questions about Katniss. Apparently she had called the bakery looking for him. He dismissed his brother with a wave and a quick “don’t ask”.

 

He was sure he had missed a ton of calls while he was asleep, but the most important one he was waiting for was from Lavinia. He needed to get the contract signed on his new place so he could get the keys from her.

 

It took forever to load all the missed calls and messages, voice and text, that had come through. Scrolling down, he saw some from Katniss. Those he expected, though there were more than he thought there would be. There were a few from Finnick. He would check those later. The probability that they were about his roommate were high, and he was avoiding that situation in favor of the current one. He stopped when he saw the one call he wanted most - Lavinia. She had left him a message that she had his documents in hand and could meet him at the property with keys.

 

Within an hour, Peeta had leased a new place and been asked out on a date for the same night he had been supposed to show up at the reunion with Katniss. Even though he knew he wasn’t going to the reunion, he told Lavinia he wouldn’t be able to. She urged him to call her when he could, and when she left he pulled her card out of his wallet, rolling it over thoughtfully in his hands. After a few seconds, he decided to follow his heart, broken as it was, and tossed the card in one of the trash receptacles on the street. He couldn’t move on so quickly. Katniss had burrowed herself into his life and it would take an act of God to remove her at all, let alone do it in three day’s time.

  
With Katniss on his mind, like always, he quietly drove back to Rye’s for the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So?? I did a reverse nightmare for the dream. Everything went perfectly in it, and then she woke up to live the nightmare. Did you notice that she had the words and he had the actions? In canon they’re reversed in my head. But, while I’m not a smut writer, I hope the dream makeout scene gave you some feels. I get really nervous writing that stuff! That’s not the scene you want to be described as awkward by your readers. Talk to me! Pbg


	12. I Don't Want to Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the reviews and follows on this story! I especially love the bossy ‘update now’ comments. Makes me feel like you’re so impatient to read my drivel. :)

 

Peeta was too exhausted and emotionally drained to pick up the phone that night, and he didn’t return any of the messages Katniss and Finnick left him. He thought after he’d had a good night’s sleep and some time to clear his head the next day, he would start to piece back what was broken between all of them. He was glad his new place would afford him with a distraction. Cleaning it up and moving in, plus doing some remodel work in the front area, so that it fit his taste in layout and decor, was something he was happy about. He would be happier if Katniss were with him, but that would mean everything was okay, and he knew it wasn’t.

 

Peeta also knew he was mostly to blame. If he had been honest with Katniss in the beginning, instead of scared he’d lose her, maybe something better would have come of it all. Looking back, he knew he should have declined the fake engagement. He should have told Katniss how he really felt. He still wanted to, but he wasn’t sure how after the horrible things he’d said to her. She had every right to be angry, and if she’d had any other reaction than hitting him he would be with her right now, apologizing for his bitter words. Instead, he was alone with his torturous thoughts.

 

Katniss was probably fine without him, though. She was tough and independent. She didn't need him. Nobody did, really. Finnick had Annie. Rye had the bakery and a constant social life. His mother acted as though she had never even wanted him, much less needed him for anything. And his father had pretty much been absent from Peeta’s life, letting his wife raise the boys, make all the rules, and then deliver the discipline for breaking them.

 

Laying on the sofa in Rye's living room, Peeta allowed the self-deprecating thoughts, mingled with the reflexive memories of Katniss' lips on his, the sweet scent of her hair that he swore he could smell just then, and the feel of her arms around his body to draw him into a fitful sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

“Finnick, has Peeta returned any of your messages?” Katniss grilled her roommate as if he were a criminal, desperate for some kind of communication from Peeta. It had been two whole nights since she’d last seen him, and she was starting to panic that she’d driven him away, or that he was dead on the side of the road. The two possibilities were equally horrifying.

 

Even though Finnick continually assured her that she had nothing to worry about, Katniss was beginning to think the worst. She had never in her life groveled for anything or anyone, but she was seriously considering it now. If she found Peeta alive, she would confess everything, begging him for forgiveness.

 

“Not yet. Don’t worry, Katniss,” Finnick said. “I’ll find him today.” His answer did little to assuage her nerves and guilt. She knew deep down Peeta wasn’t dead, and she wished he would just pick up the phone and talk to her, tell her everything was going to be okay and that he had forgiven her. She wanted him to hold her, and feel his solid chest as it rose and fell with his steady breathing. She wanted to hear his voice, soothing and sensuous in its resonance, arousing the feelings that had surfaced in her lately.

 

The dream from that fateful night had come unbidden to Katniss’ mind many times over the last twenty-four hours, until the crushing feeling that she had ruined the chance to act on it forced her to think about something else. Anything else, really. It was difficult, putting him out of her head. Peeta had always been there, even if not at the forefront, like he seemed to be now - spontaneously taking over her thoughts and wrapping her emotions up in a ball of anxiety she was sure would explode at any moment.  

 

With a mixture of hope and dread, Katniss shut herself in her room. She forced herself not to contact Peeta, even though she checked her phone several times to see if he had responded to her messages. Every minute that ticked by was torturous, despair silently overpowering the hope she’d been clinging to, and after an hour of staring into nothingness, Katniss bolted off the bed, having had enough of the depressing thoughts and feelings. She was going to find him and make him talk to her, even if she had to beg.

 

Grabbing the keys and sprinting anxiously to her car, Katniss drove to the first place she knew she would find answers - the bakery.

 

“Katniss, hey,” Rye greeted her as the bell chimed out her entrance to the quaint little shop. The familiar smell of Peeta assaulted her, pulling raw, mixed emotions to the surface - excitement that he might be there, and dread that he would reject her. Rye’s eyes raked over her rather suspiciously, she thought. “You look awful.”

 

“Is Peeta here?” Katniss asked, ignoring his comment. She knew it was true, and decided to let it go. She hadn’t slept much in the last thirty-six hours.

 

“No. Does he not talk to any of his friends?” Rye questioned, sounding confused and agitated. “Finnick was just in here looking for him. What’s going on with all of you?”

 

“Do you know where he is?” Katniss chose a clipped tone to relay her urgency to Rye. She knew she was avoiding his questions, but she didn’t have the time or patience to share her feelings with him at the moment.

 

“Yeah, he rented a place on Victor’s Lane across town. He moved in yesterday and he’s about to start renovations for his new bakery.” The news surprised Katniss. She had known his intentions were just that, but she also thought they’d be doing it together, and at the very least as roommates and best friends, possibly more. She had planned on helping him as much as she could. Not with any baking, of course. This week’s debacle with the cupcakes had sealed the deal for her being anything but kitchen help.

 

“Thanks,” Katniss mumbled as she turned to leave.

 

Rye called to her before she slipped out the door and she peered over her shoulder at him. “You know he wants it to be real, right?”

 

She knew, and she left Rye with the short answer that had popped into her head as soon as he had spoken the question. “It is real.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Is anyone home?” Hearing the familiar voice call out from the staircase, Peeta’s head jerked toward the entrance. He hadn’t been expecting anyone. No one even knew where to find him.

 

“Finnick?” came Peeta’s reply, just before his friend’s copper hair and questioning green eyes came into view.

 

“Hey,” Finnick said. “Rye said you’d be here. What’s going on?” Finnick didn’t waste any time getting to the point, but Peeta was hoping to delay the subject of what he was sure Finnick was there for.

 

“Just setting up my new place. Come in, man.” Peeta backed up and spread his arms out. “So what do you think?”

 

Finnick took in the space, bright with mid-morning rays of sun cascading in through the room’s bare windows. Peeta watched as his eyes darted around the room, from the neatly made mattress on the floor in the corner, to the small sofa and chair in the center of the room, to the kitchen, littered with grocery bags full of food yet to be put away.

 

“It’s nice. Perfect for you,” Finnick said, and Peeta could see the concern etched into his brow when Finnick’s focus came back on him. “Katniss has been worried sick.”

 

At this, Peeta closed his eyes and combed his fingers through his messy curls, further disheveling them. He walked to the kitchen and began putting the groceries away, trying to distract the guilt he felt at Finnick’s confession.

 

“Are you going to do anything?” Finnick asked when Peeta offered nothing.

 

“I’ll talk to her,” Peeta answered.

 

Finnick barked out a harsh laugh. “I should hope so. You can’t just leave your fiance for no reason, or even letting her and your friends know where you’ve gone off to. That was a dick move, Peeta.” Finnick had never spoken to him like that, and Peeta took a deep breath, placing his hands on the counter to steady himself. Anger was quickly building in him.

 

“It was all a lie, Finn,” Peeta explained, cutting his eyes to his friend. “It was never real - the engagement, our feelings, the affection. None of it.” His hands had begun gesturing wildly as he spoke, and he was acutely aware how his own sharp words carved out little pieces of his heart. He wondered if it would become less painful over time.

 

“Was it _all_ a lie?” Finnick challenged.

 

“No,” Peeta answered. “My feelings wer-... _are_ real.”

 

Finnick tossed a book onto the counter at him. It slid to within inches of his reach, and Peeta just stared at it - _Alcohol Infused Cupcakes._ Finnick picked a fine time to be handing out housewarming gifts. Peeta became curious when he noticed a piece of crumpled paper peeking out from the edge of the book. He pulled at it, and his eyes flitted back and forth between the note he had left Katniss and Finnick’s perceptive expression.

 

“What is this?” Peeta asked him.

 

“My gift to you. She never saw it.” Peeta’s stomach knotted up at the realization that Katniss really had no explanation as to why he left, and he hadn’t bothered to communicate with her since then. The guilt returned with a vengeance, tripled in size and blocking most of his rational thought.

 

“Now, I’ve done all I can do,” Finnick continued. “You two are going to have to figure this out. You love each other. You owe it to yourselves to be happy, to stop hiding.” Peeta blanched at Finnick’s words.

 

“Katniss doesn’t love me.” It was his mantra. Always there, ready to tamp down any and all hope of Katniss having feelings for him, keeping things in line. “At least, not like I love her.”

 

“Doesn’t she?” Finnick asked, walking toward the stairs and calling back over his shoulder, “Look in the book,” before disappearing down the stairs.

 

Why in the world would he need to look in a cupcake book? Peeta eyed the book doubtfully, with it’s hardcover and blue and yellow design, a plate of expertly frosted cupcakes in the center with vintage bottles of liquor lined up behind them. Was Finnick trying to insult him? Did he need new recipes?

 

Peeta slowly unfolded the cover of the book. spying Katniss’ handwriting on the inside. _I don’t want to lose you_ , it said. What did that mean exactly? He was more confused than ever.

 

Wanting a reprieve from the situation, Peeta set the book aside and turned his attention to the mess of groceries on the counter. He put away the milk, butter and eggs, then went to work on pantry items. He was bent down, transferring the fruits and veggies into the crisper when he heard her say his name. Whirling around, he saw she stood across the counter from him, where he envisioned leather bar stools would be when he finally picked them out.

 

“Katniss,” Peeta said, breathless at the sight of her, and that she had surprised him. She’d always had an uncanny silence to her, like the most skilled huntress. He’d said for years that Katniss could move undetected through a herd of the most alert prey.

 

Peeta looked into her silver eyes; eyes he’d memorized, the lack of pigmentation in them making her eye color one of the most uncommon shades in the world. It fit her perfectly, the rarity of them. He’d never known anyone like Katniss, and she was still the most beautiful woman he’d laid eyes upon. His gaze roamed what he could see of her, looking for signs in her body language of what was to come. He noticed her hair was in a messy bun, whisps of it escaping all around. No braid?

 

“You took off a day and half ago and you’re worried about whether or not I braided my hair?” Katniss asked. Peeta hadn’t realized he’d said that out loud.

 

“No, no I just… you always wear a braid,” he said softly, at a loss for any other explanation. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours; Katniss toying with the edge of her shirt and Peeta standing still with his hands folded behind his back. He breathed in deep and sighed, figuring it was time to begin ‘the talk’. He had rehearsed it so many times, but now that it had been thrust upon him, he couldn’t remember where to start. But Katniss spoke first.

 

“I’m sorry, Peeta. I, I was wrong, about everything. I shouldn’t have asked you to pretend for me. A-and I shouldn’t have been dishonest with Gale, and I sh-should never have encouraged Annie’s invitation for you to move in. And… and,” Katniss paused, looking down and Peeta saw her pulling at a thread in the hem of her shirt, a sure sign she was trying to figure out how to say something else.

 

When she looked back up, the fat tears filling her eyes, reflecting the light and causing them to shine, spilled down her olive cheeks. “I should never have hit you.” Peeta watched, helplessly, as her hands came up to cover her mouth, as if saying it out loud was like the shock of reliving it. Without hesitation, Katniss rounded the counter, straight for Peeta and wrapped her arms around his middle, burying her face in his chest.

 

Peeta held her there, hands finding their way around her and gently rubbing her back as she dampened the front of his shirt with tears. He was a goner. Always had been. He could deny her nothing, especially the comfort of knowing he forgave her. “It’s alright, Katniss,” he whispered as he continued to calm her. “I forgive you.” Katniss’ arms tightened around him and he knew that was her silent ‘thank you’.

 

After a few moments, Katniss loosened her hold on him, and their eyes met.

 

“What do we do now?” she asked him.

 

Peeta knew what he wanted. He wanted to start over. He wanted to properly ask her out, take her on a real date, one that meant something just for them. He wanted to kiss her when no one was watching, and feel her return it with equal fervor. He wanted to peel her shirt over her head and worship every inch of her bare skin with his eyes, then his hands, then his lips.

 

Being able to do those things seemed so unreachable, even with Katniss this close. Peeta wondered if he would always feel like she was pretending, since that’s how it all started. He needed to forget the charade if there were going to be any chance at ‘real’. He knew it would take time for him to put aside his insecurities of believing she wanted to be with him that way, and fully appreciate the idea of them being together, if that were what she wanted. He still hadn’t told her how he felt.

 

“I guess we try to forget,” Peeta said to her. He saw Katniss’ eyes brim with fresh tears and rising panic.

  
“I don’t want to forget,” she whispered, rising up on her toes and covering his mouth with hers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Is everyone happy that the angst is over? Well, sort of. We still have Gale to deal with. I switched lines on them again. What Peeta means, and I hope I was clear in the paragraph before, is that to start over he wants to forget the pretending part of their relationship, but Katniss thinks he wants to forget and go back to being friends. Anyway, i hope this chapter wasn’t too crappy. I’ve been extremely tired lately and moving day is getting closer. I thought by starting 5 weeks early I’d be prepared, but dang, I’m a hoarder!!


	13. Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updates. Hopefully this will be the last chapter before the epilogue and we can call this one complete. Then on to other stories! YAY! I have some good ones outlined and I can’t wait to get them rolling! I will need some betas for my new ones, so if anyone is good with plots and storylines, please let me know! They will be multi-chapters, angsty and, ngl, a bit heartbreaking. All with Everlark HEA’s, though. Okay, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Read away, my pretties. 
> 
> PS - I’m not sure what the boundaries are of the ratings. I just click the acceptance box without reading and move on. There's no time to read about rules when there's so much fanfiction out there! Ha. Hopefully I haven’t gone too far. I’m calling it T+ again.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds, barely a molding of warm lips to each other. Peeta pulled back, and Katniss saw the questions in his eyes.

 

“What do you mean?” he asked her. Katniss could feel the fear climbing through her like a relentless vine in summer, wrapping its way around any and everything, choking the life out of its anchor until it reached the highest point. She fisted her hands at her sides, trying to block it out. Now was no time to crumble to terror, and so taking a deep breath, Katniss closed her eyes. It was easier to tell him if she wasn’t looking straight into his soul.

 

“I don’t want to forget because… because I- I think,” Katniss stopped, choosing to rephrase her words. She had to get this right, leave no confusion behind. “No, I don’t think. I _know_ that I feel more for you than just friends. I don’t want to forget because... I can’t go back to just being your friend, Peeta!” The last part was babbled and rushed, and probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but at least it was out there. She hoped with everything in her that he felt the same. If he didn’t, she had no clue what she would do.

 

“Katniss, look at me,” Peeta asked her. His request was soft, encouraging enough to cause instant compliance. “Are you saying you want us to be together for real? No pretending?”

 

Without hesitation, Katniss answered. “Yes, Peeta. I want it to be real.” She had expected Peeta to react to the news in some way, possibly even annoyance. She had hoped for happy and elated, had even imagined him lifting her and spinning her around in glee, but this - stoic and and unemotional - was bothersome. It was almost like he didn’t believe it was true. The panic began to spread again, so she launched into the rest of her speech.

 

“I’ve missed you. I’ve missed when you touch me, when, when your arms are like this-” Katniss reached down to move his arms around her waist. She took it as a good sign that he didn’t pull away, leaving them dangling around her hips, and she timidly skimmed her fingertips up his arms, past his shoulders and neck, and into his hair, massaging it gently. She felt him shiver and his skin turn to gooseflesh.

 

“I’ve wanted to run my hands through your hair since...” Katniss paused, realizing she was about to reveal her dream. Peeta didn’t seem to notice, and she felt a steady increase in her boldness when he closed his eyes and moaned softly.

 

Leaving his hair, Katniss trailed her fingers over the ridges of his ears, and down his neck until her hands rested flatly on his muscled chest. Her heart was beating wildly, and she expected any minute for him to say stop, but he didn’t. She stared at his perfect lips, quivering slightly with his breath, and she reached up to trace a finger over them.

 

“Your lips, they’re so... soft. I have thought of them on mine everyday since we first kissed.” Katniss watched as Peeta’s eyes fluttered open, definitely a darker shade of the brilliant blue they normally were. She was fully aware of how his arms had tightened around her so that their chests were flush against each other, and how her breasts were aching to be touched. Katniss was sure if she stood back Peeta would be able to tell exactly how turned on she was.

 

“Kiss me, Peeta,” Katniss asked, her gravelly voice exposing her want. Peeta didn’t say a word, just lowered his head so that their lips touched. The kiss was sweet and promising, until Katniss swiped her tongue across his bottom lip. Almost instantly it became fierce and heavy with need, hands roaming, tongues searching as weeks of frustration and years of longing poured from one into the other.

 

Katniss finally relinquished the control she usually exercised over herself, jumping up to wrap her legs around Peeta’s waist. His hands immediately went to her thighs to hold her in place, and she was surprised that their kisses could intensify. They were as connected as they could be without being completely naked, so much so that Katniss was sure Peeta was breathing for her, and she for him. He spun her around, pressing her back to the refrigerator door for leverage, and she groaned loudly when she felt the sweet pressure of his hips against hers.

 

It wasn’t exactly the same, but Katniss vividly remembered the dream she’d had - how Peeta had kissed her senseless and hooked her leg around his waist, pressed her against the cabinets in her kitchen. This was better, though. It was real. And she wasn’t about to wake up.

 

Katniss greedily sucked air into her lungs as Peeta’s lips left hers, a trail of wet kisses strung along her jaw and down her neck as he made his way to her collarbone. If the dream were any indication, she was going to love this. She dragged her nails over Peeta’s back in anticipation and he hissed against her skin.

 

“Did I hurt you?” Katniss asked as she pulled back slightly, afraid she’d done something wrong.

 

“Not a chance,” Peeta answered, the husky tone of his voice testifying he felt as much desire as she did. “You could touch me anywhere and I’d love it.” Katniss closed her eyes as he tugged the sleeve of her oversized shirt and her thin bra strap down her arm, exposing her shoulder and upper part of her chest. A haze of lust had settled over her so heavily the voice in her head screaming that all of this was too fast had been reduced to barely a trace. They had already known each other for years, she reasoned. They were the best of friends, had already kissed, slept in the same room, and were fake engaged. It was expected of them, wasn’t it? People probably already thought they had done this years ago. And it felt too good to stop.

 

“Peeta.” Katniss breathed his name as he rocked his pelvis into hers. He whispered her name back to her, and it had to be the sexiest way she’d ever heard it. “Peeta? Do you have, um, do you have...” her voice faded when she recognized she didn’t quite have the boldness to ask if he had a condom.

 

“Anything I have is yours, Katniss,” Peeta said, lowering her legs to the floor and collecting more delicious kisses from her lips again. She wanted to be bold, to finally express what it was she wanted, and after completing the entire sentence she felt him freeze. The absence of space between them grew, and Peeta looked down at her with eyes as big and round as the moon.

 

“A c-condom?” he choked out. Katniss felt inches tall instead of feet. She was pretty sure she had read him right, but maybe he wasn’t into having sex with her yet. She mentally kicked herself, realizing she had probably gone too far, too fast.

 

“I’m sorry, I, I thought-”

 

“No, I do. I’ve wanted you for a long time, Katniss.” Peeta hesitated before continuing. “I just want to make sure this is something you won’t regret. Do you really want _me_? Like _this_?”

 

“I think we’ve gone pretty far already, Peeta,” Katniss said, pointing to her shirt halfway down her arm. “The tops of my breasts are peeking out-”

 

“I know, and it’s amazing,” Peeta interrupted. Katniss narrowed her eyes, leveling him with a suspicious scowl. She wasn’t used to being on display, and Peeta’s verbal acknowledgement embarassed her.

 

“What?” Peeta asked innocently. “I’ve dreamed about seeing you naked for longer than I can tell you,” he admitted, and Katniss could see the faintest blush on his cheeks. “That’s why you have to be sure this is what you want, and you didn’t give me a straight answer just now.”

 

No, she hadn’t. She had avoided it, hoping he would catch her meaning, but he wanted to hear her say it out loud. Isn’t that where all their problems had come from? Keeping their feelings and what they really wanted under lock and key?

 

“It’s what I want. You are what I want.” There. She’d said it. It was all out; there were no confessions left inside her. Katniss felt like a tethered balloon, just released from its bond.

 

“Katniss.” Peeta went quiet, but the wistful look on his face told her everything she needed to know.

 

“I know,” Katniss whispered to him, cupping his face with her hands and pulling him close to her. She brushed her lips against his, quickly reigniting inside herself what had quieted during their brief exchange. She yelped in surprise when Peeta swept her up, walking out of the kitchen and depositing her on the living room couch. She reached for him when he stood up.

 

“I’ll be right back,” Peeta said.

 

“Where are you going?” Katniss whined.

 

“Condom!” Peeta yelled at her from the bedroom. Katniss could hear a moving box being torn open, and things being discarded and rumbled through. A quick glance around while she waited brought a smile to her face. This place was perfectly Peeta. The light from the windows, the spacious, open layout, the bedroom with its large, french doors opening from the living room. She had been angry when she’d heard he rented a space so quickly, but being in it made her realize how much he needed this, and she was relieved and happy she would get to be a part of it.

 

Her gaze was drawn to the coffee table in front of her, where a familiar book lay. _Alcohol Infused Cupcakes._ How had that gotten here?

 

Katniss picked up the book, turning it over in her hands the way she had done when she’d first seen it in the store. Peeta must have taken it with him after their fight. She hadn’t paid enough attention in the hours after he’d left to notice if the cookbook was still around her kitchen. It had completely slipped her mind.

 

A piece of stray paper fell from the book into her lap when she went to place it back on the table. Her name was at the top.

 

_Katniss,_

 

_I’m sorry I yelled at you and said those awful things. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to see our friendship destroyed over something fake. I think it’s best if we stop pretending, go back to being just friends, and if I don’t escort you to the reunion._

 

_I need some time to sort this out. I’ll call you in a few days._

 

_Peeta_

 

She read the note over again, wondering why she hadn’t seen it before now. The bliss she’d felt moments ago gave way like a trap door, plunging her into the darkness of dread. She realized in all her confessing that Peeta hadn’t shared his own feelings. She’d heard them from Finnick, and a small confirmation from Rye, but Peeta had yet to acknowledge any of them, unless you counted the heated kisses, curious hands and Peeta rummaging around for a condom. That should surely count for something, but still, in light of the note, she needed to hear they weren’t ruining their friendship.

 

Hurried footsteps sounded on the wood floors as Peeta came back from the bedroom, a triumphant look on his face as he held up a small, square packet. “Found one!” The grin died when he looked down, seeing what Katniss had been reading.

 

“What’s this?” Katniss asked, trying to keep calm.

 

“You’re, um, not supposed to see that,” Peeta said, letting out a deep breath. He looked defeated, tossing the tiny, unopened package onto the table.

 

“Then why does it have my name on it?” she challenged him. “From the look of things, you don’t really want _this,_ ” Katniss said, motioning between herself and Peeta. “You were going to fake break up with me, and leave me to go to the reunion alone and face Gale! And you _promised_ you would be there!” Katniss knew she was getting out of control, but something about it felt betraying. It seemed to her a complete three hundred and sixty degree turn from the note to what they had been about to do. “Were you just messing around with me? Did you want to get back at me for asking you to pretend?” Katniss stood and headed for the door, not wanting to hear what she feared would be the truth.

 

“Katniss, no! It’s not what it seems. Just let me explain. _Please_ ,” Peeta pleaded. Katniss slowed before she got to the staircase, stopping completely and turning around to face him. Something in her knew she needed to hear him out. She had felt awful when he left the other day, and she didn’t want to leave him with the same insecurities, so she marched back to the couch, hard as it was to listen when everything in her wanted to defy.

 

“Katniss,” Peeta sighed and slumped his shoulders, sitting in front of her on the edge of the coffee table. He dragged his fingers through his hair, leaving the ends sticking up all over. Katniss normally would have laughed, but now was not the time.

 

“I love you. And not like a friend,” Peeta said. Katniss knew he had strong feelings beyond friendship for her, but this was more than what she thought he would admit. She also knew deep down she felt the same.

 

“I’ve loved you for a long time. And, I knew it was a bad idea to pretend to be engaged to you, but I didn’t know how else to be closer to you without making things between us awkward, and ruining the amazing relationship we already have,” Peeta said, shifting from the table to the couch beside her. He took her hands in his, and Katniss could feel a flutter of relief welling up inside her.

 

Katniss wondered how he had kept it all inside for so long as he continued to confirm his feelings for her. “I can’t live without you, and I didn’t think you could ever feel the way for me that I feel about you. The letter was more about distancing myself from hurting us both, but I think it did worse.”

 

Katniss was silent for what felt like ages, eyes on the table, thoughts rolling through her mind, until Peeta asked her to say something, _anything,_ to let him know she wasn’t angry with him. Today was all about admissions and truth, and she knew she had no right to be angry with him.

 

“I put you in an awful place, and for that I’m sorry, Peeta. I understand now why you did what you did. I’m just sorry that I didn’t realize my feelings for you sooner. That it wasn’t real before today, but I know now.” For the first time in her life, Katniss didn’t want to run. She wanted to stay.

 

“There is no one else I see myself with,” Katniss said. It was Peeta’s turn to be silent, although the smile on his face was anything but alarming.

 

“So, we’re doing this? You and me?” Peeta asked for the second time that day. Katniss laughed at his kid-in-a-candy-shop enthusiasm.

 

“Yes, Peeta, we are doing _this_ ,” Katniss said, mimicking his words and motioning between them again. She picked up the little foil packet. “I think, though, that we may need to ease into this part of our relationship. I’m sorry if I got a little too excited.” She blushed remembering the earlier encounter.

 

“You’re right,” Peeta agreed, his thumbs brushing over the backs of her hands. “I want you to feel free to ease in however slow you want to. We have all the time in the world to do this the right way.”

 

“Yes, we do,” Katniss said, unable to stop the huge grin from taking over her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next stop - reunion town! The next chapter will probably be the last - wrapping up with Gale and seeing how Everlark moves on. :) I did struggle with this chapter, so if it doesn’t quite make sense I’m sorry! I wanted Katniss to have one last reservation, but stay to talk it out. Also, since I rated it T I had to break up the action before it got too far, and a faithful reader, LACR, gave me the idea of Katniss finding the note. She actually said she hoped Katniss didn’t find the note, just so no one blames her. All blame goes to me! Thank you for reading and please talk to me! I’m also on tumblr as peetabreadgirl.


	14. End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riddle me this - how many months does it take to write 2000 words of a last chapter? Apparently too many! Ha. I really do have great excuses, but who cares, right? Let’s get on to Everlark! But really, I have found a way to update weekly and I’m going to take it folks. It’s called taking my lunch to work and writing during that hour. I figure 5 hours a week ought to get at least one chapter cranked out every 5-7 days, right? I miss writing Stranger Things and I so want to get Mile High completed! Who takes over a year to write 8 chapters?? Me, I guess. Ugh. Please, oh please, leave me a review when you finish this chapter, as it is my last for this story. Enjoy the end of A Hot Mess!

The bowl of cereal had turned from crunchy, golden flakes to soft, brown mush after Katniss had been pushing it around the bowl distractedly. The reunion was just hours away and the decision to force herself to eat wasn't working out for the best. Her stomach was in knots.

 

Her nerves had nothing to do with Peeta. Things between them were fine. She had helped him paint a few walls the day before, unpack dishes in the kitchen, and even made his bed so he could sleep in it that night. Of course, it had become a jumble of fluffy down comforter and top sheet after they had gotten distracted with each other. Katniss had to admit it was difficult to stop, to pull away from him when all she wanted to do was keep going. Peeta didn’t seem to like it either, but he respected her wishes, agreeing to take things slow.

 

No, It wasn’t Peeta she was concerned about. It was Gale. She would have to see him soon. She would have to tell him the truth - that they weren’t engaged. She had decided to come clean with him. It was time to make up for all the lies, and it was going to be a hard pill to swallow.

 

Katniss had been preparing for Gale’s reaction for two days. He would probably be hurt enough that she lied to avoid having to deal with him that she wouldn’t have to tell him no to starting things up between them again. He would just leave her alone all on his own after an admission like that.

 

Eyeing her cereal and deciding she was only wasting time, Katniss poured it down the drain, rinsed the bowl and drug herself upstairs to get ready. Delly would be there to pick her up any minute to decorate the hotel’s small ballroom and make preparations for the reunion. As annoyed as she was about having to help blow up balloons and sprinkle confetti in their school’s colors all over the tables, she was hoping it would keep her distracted, and help the nervousness in her stomach settle.

 

After throwing her hair into a messy braid and changing into skinny jeans and a fitted t-shirt, Katniss made her way back down to the living room just in time for Delly to pull up and honk her car horn.

 

“I know you’re not usually in a rush,” Delly said to Katniss as she closed the passenger door, “but you’re really moving slow today. And from what I can tell by the expression on your face it’s almost like you don’t want to go tonight.” The girl was always too outspoken and talkative for her own good. Katniss tried to wave it off, but she was a terrible actress. Delly steered the conversation turned to all the people they would see that night, and after checking through the list of attendees she had memorized, she came to the one person Katniss didn’t want to think about.

 

“Are you excited to see Gale?” Katniss’ stomach plummeted at the mention of the meeting actually happening. She had known it was coming, but until someone else brought it up, it hadn’t seeme as real. With thoughts of all the different things she could say running through her head, confusion was setting in. In a decisive attempt to clear it all away, Katniss blurted out the truth. It was better to practice on someone anyway.

 

“Peeta and I were never engaged.” The pent up words seemed to spill out of her mouth, but oddly she didn’t feel the need to try to get them back. It was very freeing, the truth. Especially since she knew things with Peeta weren’t over, more like starting over. Katniss had lain awake the last two nights thinking about what the two of them together really meant. They were best friends forever, and along that line of thought she hadn’t been able to see a life without him. Even though the fake engagement was called off, she knew they would be back there eventually. And it would be real.

 

“You lied?” Delly exclaimed, stomping on the brake and launching Katniss forward against her seatbelt. Katniss’ hands instinctively reached out in front of her to shield her from connecting with the dash, even though she didn’t. A few horns rang out as cars swerved and sped around them, but Delly didn’t seem to care. Katniss wasn’t sure the truth was worth a complete halt in the middle of the road, but her heart sank at the implication of what the information might do to Gale if Delly was having this kind of reaction. If only she could go back in time and just tell him the truth - that they were no good together. But then she wouldn’t have realized what she wanted for her future, or rather _who_ she wanted. It was crazy to think of her big lie ending up being a good thing.

 

“I did. And I feel horrible about it, but-”

 

“But nothing, Katniss!” Delly interrupted her. “Peeta Mellark, one of my best friends for ages, has wanted nothing other than you for as long as I’ve known him. And you just _pretended_ to be engaged to him? Why?” For the first time since she had told the story, Katniss was ready to set it all straight. And Delly was as good a place to start as any.

 

“It started out as a way to keep Gale off my back about getting together again, BUT-” Katniss emphasized, holding her hand up as Delly opened her mouth, most likely to protest. “Through it all, I’ve come to understand that my relationship with Peeta is the greatest part of my life, and I don’t want to be without him.”

 

That seemed to only confuse Delly further as Katniss watched her brow knit together and she opened and closed her mouth several times. Delly at a loss for words was more rare than Peeta at a loss for words.

 

“Peeta and I are together,” Katniss explained, “just not engaged.” Delly’s face lit up in understanding, and the anger that had been there moments ago was forgotten.

 

“Oh, Katniss! I’m so excited for you both! You make the cutest couple! It was meant to be, you know? We all saw it coming way off.” Katniss forced a smile, zoning out as Delly spent the rest of the ride chattering on and on about all the things everyone knew about herself and Peeta, her arms waving wildly as if it was all just a big misunderstanding. Apparently, out of her entire circle, Katniss was the last person to be informed.

 

They arrived at the hotel, Delly cheerily handing out tasks to the few people that had shown up to help. Most of them were hotel staff, so Katniss didn’t have to delve into what she’d been doing with her life the last ten years like she was preparing to do for the reunion.

 

A smile spread across her face when she fished out her phone, spying a text from Peeta, but it disappeared as soon as she opened it.

 

_I’m going to be late to the reunion. Think you can go without me and I’ll meet you there?_

 

Katniss could feel herself starting to hyperventilate. What was she going to do without Peeta there to support her? She knew Peeta couldn’t stand next to her when she finally told Gale what she’d done - that was for her to do alone - but she at least thought he would be in the same vicinity, that he would be there to comfort her when it all came undone. Gale would surely be pissed, and Katniss was expecting some angry words from him. Snapping back to the present, she quickly typed in a reply.

 

_How long will you be?_

 

Peeta’s response seemed to take forever.

 

_Hopefully just a few minutes. I have an errand I have to run._

 

Katniss knew Peeta had been working hard the last few days on getting the bakery ready for his grand opening in a few months. There was a lot that needed to be done, and so far Peeta had been tearing into the remodel from sun up to sun down. It didn’t look like that would change any time soon.

 

 _It has to be done tonight?_ she texted back, hoping the pleading she was feeling translated through the screen. Katniss knew it was probably important, but she wanted him near her every second possible tonight.

 

_Yeah, it can’t wait. :( I’m sorry._

 

Katniss softened at the words on the screen. Peeta had always put her first, and he was probably just as bummed about not getting to take her to the reunion as she was about it.

 

_Alright. I’m sad but I understand. I’ll see you there._

 

After she hit send, Katniss had another frantic thought she wanted to type out -

 

_But come as quickly as you can! :)_

 

 _I will!_ Peeta replied. _Don’t talk to Gale until I get there._

 

Easier said than done, Katniss thought, but she appreciated the gesture and let Peeta know she would try.

 

The rest of the afternoon was a combination of being too slow and too quick. It was too long until she would get to see Peeta again, and too soon until she had to face Gale. Katniss had been practicing an apology speech for the last two hours as she strung large, festive Christmas lights over the dance floor, and she was so tired of figuring out different ways to break the truth to Gale. Instead of dwelling on the daunting task ahead of her, she tried to focus on the fact that by tomorrow morning things would finally be settled, and she and Peeta could start fresh with nothing hanging over them.

 

“Katniss, are you ready to go? We need to get showered and changed,” Delly said as Katniss fastened the last strand of lights to the ceiling’s last undecorated corner.

 

“Sure,” Katniss answered, hoping Delly would just leave it at that. She climbed off the ladder as Delly opened her phone and took a call from another class member asking for details that were clearly posted on the Facebook page Delly had created for the event, and in the invitation that was sent out. If it had been up to Katniss she would have just said to check social media, but Delly was kind hearted and patient, and her fielding phone calls meant Katniss had to talk less on the ride home.

 

Standing in front of her closet after showering, Katniss realized she had never had to make a decision this difficult. She wanted to be attractive for Peeta, but not for Gale. She racked her brain trying to think of how to pull that off with her simple, slightly unfashionable wardrobe.  On the one hand, she could count the dresses she owned that would turn heads. But then Gale would like it, too. But he always detested when she wore her dad’s bulky, hunting jacket, telling her that she had a body to be proud of and she should show it off.

 

Maybe tonight should be more about being revolting to Gale than attractive to Peeta? He had always thought she was pretty no matter what she wore.

 

A knock sounded at her partially closed door, Annie’s head peeking through as Katniss motioned for her to come in.

 

“Hey. Thought you might like to know the bridesmaid’s dresses came in today,” Annie said, walking into the room holding a dress bag. She laid it across Katniss’ bed, dragging the zipper down to reveal a crocheted, strapless dress in the prettiest shade of orange Katniss had ever seen. It was a muted orange, much like a sunset at dusk. Peeta’s favorite color, Katniss immediately thought. Katniss smiled as she remembered he and Annie shared a love of sunsets, and she remembered Annie had chosen this color because, as much as she loved it, it looked awful with her skin tone.

 

“Want to try it on?” Annie asked, beaming with excitement.

 

Why not? Katniss thought as she shrugged her shoulders and Annie turned around to give her some privacy. It was easy to slip into, but Katniss had trouble with the zipper.

 

“Can you help me out?” she asked.

 

When Annie was done, Katniss turned to the mirror on the back of her closet door. She had never liked wearing dresses - it’s why she had so little to choose from - but this one made her feel beautiful. The fit was like a glove, making her slight curves a little more prominent, and the color was just right, causing her skin to glow. Katniss noticed how the dress stopped mid-thigh, something that she normally would have veered away from, but something about showing a little leg was exciting to her.

 

“Wow,” Annie complimented. “It looks amazing on you, Katniss. I’m actually jealous that I’ll be the one wearing the wedding dress,” she joked. Katniss grinned and gave Annie a disbelieving look. She knew how much Annie loved her cream colored Vera Wong, or whatever the designer’s name was.

 

“Do you like it?” Annie asked her.

 

“I actually do,” Katniss responded, feeling surreal and wistful. She only wished Peeta could see it sooner than the wedding.

 

“Why don’t you wear it tonight?” Annie suggested, and Katniss couldn’t believe her ears. She whirled around, eyes big as saucers. Katniss wasn’t up to date on much wedding etiquette, but she was sure there was some unspoken rule about wearing a gown _before_ the actual wedding.

 

“Isn’t that against the law or something?”

 

Annie laughed, spinning Katniss back to face the mirror and piling her hair on top of her head in a messy, but very attractive bun. It showed her slender neck, the place Peeta loved to let his lips linger, and it made Katniss want to hint to Peeta at the things they could do later.

 

“There’s no law against it. I just know you don’t have much in the way of things to wear tonight, and this just looks so fabulous on you that I can’t see you wearing anything else. I want you to take Peeta’s breath away.”

 

Katniss looked down at her bare feet, ashamed that she hadn’t told Annie yet about the fake engagement. Delly knew, of all people, but the ones closest to her had been the hardest to break the news to. Everyone had been so happy for them both. Katniss only hoped they could fix it all and do things right next time.

 

“Annie,” Katniss started.

 

“It’s alright. Peeta told me.” The look on Annie’s face was one of understanding and forgiveness, which made Katniss feel even worse. A single tear escaped, trailing down Katniss’ cheek.

 

“Don’t cry!” Annie chided sweetly. “You’re about to go to one of the most important events of your life. And you need to look amazing! Come on, let’s get you all dolled up and out of here.” Katniss was grateful for Annie’s thoughtfulness, but she couldn’t help but think there was something more to her exuberance than just helping Katniss get ready.

 

 

Katniss stood behind the registration table, doing her best to greet her classmates with what little small talk she cared to muster. She had no idea what Delly had been thinking, asking her to be the one-woman welcoming committee.

 

It had become warm and Katniss fanned herself with the sign-in clipboard as the incoming crowd died down. Much to Annie’s dismay, the beautiful dress had been swallowed up by her father’s old jacket, as she had remembered at the last minute to put it on as a repellant for Gale. The last thing she wanted was his eyes on her all night. Annie had laughed at her explanation, and after making Katniss swear not to eat a bite while wearing it so that it stayed in pristine condition for the wedding, she had encouraged her to remove the jacket before Peeta arrived.

 

Katniss was considering her advice seriously now, but Gale hadn’t shown his face yet, so she was reluctant. But as tiny beads of perspiration began to form, she had to consent, tossing the jacket underneath the welcome table. She was uncomfortably aware of how uncovered she felt, and she silently cursed herself for so easily giving in to Annie’s suggestion. Her shoulders, arms and upper chest were all exposed, and the tightness of the bust, which hadn’t seemed like a big deal when she was trying on the dress, constricted her breathing a bit and caused a small amount of cleavage to be visible. It didn’t help that her hair was swept up, and her back felt just as naked as her legs. What had she been thinking coming to the reunion looking this way? She seemed to lose all sense when her thoughts were consumed by Peeta.

 

A whistle came from behind her, in the direction of the ballroom.

 

‘You cleaned up nice, Everdeen,” Delly said, giving her a thumbs up. “Peeta won’t notice another person all night long.”

 

As Delly made a whirlwind circle around her, Katniss sighed and hung her head. That was exactly the kind of reaction she was dreading from anyone but Peeta. As Katniss thought of him, she checked her phone. It was forty five minutes into the party and Peeta still hadn’t shown up. It was looking highly possibly he would be there before Gale, but he wasn’t answering her messages, and she was beginning to worry.

 

Katniss was too busy paying attention to Delly as she checked to see who hadn’t arrived, and reminded Katniss to smile and make sure everyone had a name tag before they entered, that she didn’t notice Gale striding toward her.

 

“Hey, Catnip.” She froze as her muscles tensed at the pet name Gale had given her as a joke when they were dating. She saw Delly look up at him, her blue eyes darting between the two of them. She smiled politely and asked Gale to sign in, then gave him his name tag.

 

“Nice to see you again, Gale. I’ll be in there if you need me,” Delly said, excusing herself and walking back into the busy ballroom.

 

“So, how’ve you been?” he asked. Katniss noticed Gale’s hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his heels. He must be nervous seeing her again. She could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest, and not in a good way. He was handsome as ever, and the longing way he looked at her made what she had to tell him even harder. She was sure it would break his heart all over again.

 

“I’ve been good. You?” Katniss decided small talk would work for now. Part of her wanted to rip the bandaid off, but a larger part wanted to delay the inevitable.

 

“I’ve had better days,” he admitted. Curious upon hearing his words, Katniss looked up at him. Her question came out before she had a chance to think about his answer.

 

“Is something wrong?” The hurt in his eyes gave away his next words immediately, and Katniss knew it was time to come clean.

 

“I’ve been thinking about how I should never have let you go. How…” he paused as he fidgeted, looking around the room. His eyes finally landed on Katniss’, silver clashing with silver, like two storms going head to head. That’s the way Katniss remembered it anyway.

 

“How I just can’t believe you’re with Mellark now. He was always so obvious,” Gale said, rolling his eyes and kicking at the ground. “I thought you saw straight through him.”

 

Silence fell as they both tried to deal with the awkwardness of what was playing out. Gale spoke first.

 

“We were good together, Catnip.” Katniss scoffed, quickly becoming annoyed with Gale’s demeanor. It had started sincere, but seemed to take a turn towards cocky. Katniss had always hated Gale’s arrogant side, and she was eager to remind him of a few things.

 

“Do you not remember all the fighting? We weren’t good together, Gale. We were selfish. One of us always had to win, and the arguments never stopped because we were both unwilling to back down. You can’t build a relationship on the cornerstone of competition. We needed trust. And compassion for each other.” Even as Katniss relayed this to Gale, she knew she had exactly that with Peeta. Her heart swelled at the thought, and she no longer felt nervous about rejecting Gale.

 

“I just remember that I miss you,” Gale responded sadly, stepping closer so that just the small table was between them. The way his eyes bored into hers made the table feel miniscule. “I want you back.”

 

“I can’t-” Katniss started.

 

“Do you love him?” Gale asked.

 

Katniss balked, surprised by the question. It wasn’t any of Gale’s business. She and Peeta hadn’t even shared those words yet, and it felt wrong to say them out loud to someone else first. Trying to put the subject off, and get to what she really needed to say, Katniss raised her hands to stop Gale’s certain inquisition. She knew it was the wrong thing to do as his eyes moved to her ring finger.

 

“You don’t have a ring?” he asked, his face scrunching up in disbelief.

 

Katniss looked at her hand. Now was the time to lay it all out there.

 

“Listen, Gale,” Katniss said, taking a deep breath, hoping she remembered all the words to speech number twelve, which was the one she liked best. Before she could admit the truth, a familiar and soothing voice called her name from behind Gale.

 

“Katniss, sweetheart, there you are,” Peeta said smoothly as he rounded the table and planted himself at her side. His hand reached into his pocket, pulling out something small and shiny. Katniss furrowed her brow to get a better look at what he was holding as he gently took her left hand and slid it onto her finger. She barely heard a word he said after that, confusion and elation mingling together in her mind.

 

“You left this at home again,” he chuckled, turning towards Gale. “She’s not used to wearing it yet,” Peeta explained, stretching his hand out towards Gale in greeting. “Gale, how are you, man?”

 

Katniss continued to stare down at her finger, letting the men exchange strained pleasantries. She took in the simple silver colored band, with its single square diamond perched on top. It was clear and brilliant, catching the twinkling lights from the ballroom and casting a wide range of specks on the wall opposite them. She still couldn’t wrap her head around how it got on her finger, or where it came from even. She had seen Peeta pull it from his pocket, but other than that she was completely at a loss for what to say or even how to act. Was this real? Or did Peeta decide to play along again?

 

She felt Peeta’s finger under her chin, gently pushing upwards until her mouth closed. She looked at his face, his eyes shining, a grin from ear to ear. She glanced over to Gale, finding the look on his face to be skeptical.

 

“Can you give us a minute?” Katniss asked of Gale. He nodded, disappearing into the ballroom. Once he was completely out of sight, Katniss turned to Peeta, looking him dead in the eyes.

 

“What is this?” she asked, bringing her hand up near her shoulder and wiggling her fingers. “Where did you get it? What’s going on?” Katniss couldn’t seem to stop with one question, and Peeta reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips to plant a sweet kiss on her palm.

 

“This,” he said as he fidgeted with the band, “is what I was late for.” Their eyes met, and in them Katniss swore she could see the very depths of his perfect soul. He was completely bewitched by her, and she by him.

 

“Katniss, I know we agreed to take things slow, and we can. A ring doesn’t mean we have to make love or even get married until we’re ready, but I know, without a doubt, that this is what I want. I don’t see any part of my life that you aren’t in, and for me this is it. Just you. I want nothing else.” Peeta drew in a deep breath, his voice held a steady and determined tone as he spoke his next words. “Katniss Everdeen, I am in love with you.”

 

Peeta kept hold of Katniss’ hand while her head swirled with the words she had just heard. It was like a delicious fog in her mind, but her heart was clearer than the new diamond weighing down her finger. He was it for her, too. She could echo the exact same sentiment and mean it with every fiber of her being.

 

“I’m in love with you, too,” was all she could utter, as she removed her hand from his, reaching up to run her fingers in his hair as she pulled him down to meet her lips. Peeta’s arms went around her waist and drew her in tight to his chest.

 

“Oh my God!” came a screech from behind them, causing them to break apart. In a flash her hand was torn from around Peeta’s neck and parked directly in front of Delly’s eyeballs.

 

“This is gorgeous, Peeta!” she exclaimed. A few others came out of the party to see what the buzz was about and offered congratulations, although much more mellow than Delly’s outburst.

 

“Not as gorgeous as my fiance,” Peeta replied as Delly continued to fuss over them, making sure they both knew that she had always known it would work out, before returning back to the reunion.

 

“It feels so good to say that and it be real,” Peeta said.

 

“What’s that?” Katniss asked him, grinning lazily and still dazed from what had transpired over the last ten minutes.

 

“Calling you my fiance,” he said, nuzzling his nose into her neck and sighing contentedly.

 

“It sounds amazing,” Katniss replied. Peeta broke away, and Katniss frowned as he stepped back. His eyes took in every detail before he spoke.

 

“What’s amazing is you in this dress, and that hair.” Peeta pulled her back to him, touching his forehead to hers and catching her eyes with his gaze. “Annie was right, it’s perfect on you.” Katniss eyed Peeta suspiciously.

“You did more than talk to Annie about our little lie didn’t you?” she asked. Peeta shrugged and smiled.

 

“I knew she was acting strange,” Katniss said, snapping her fingers in realization as it became apparent to her that Annie had known what Peeta was up to.

 

“She helped me put my plan into action,” he said, his smile fading as he became serious. “God, Katniss, I was so jealous when I came in and saw you talking to Gale. I didn’t want him anywhere near you, and I was nervous hoping I wasn’t going to screw it all up. Hoping you wouldn’t turn me down.”

 

Katniss’ heart broke a little that Peeta thought she could reject him.

 

“I can’t say no to you,” she admitted to him.

 

“Is that so?” Peeta asked, perking up at her confession. Katniss nodded. “Well, in that case, let’s get you back to my place,” he said, his eyebrows rising and falling in a suggestive manner.

 

Katniss leaned down to grab her coat from under the table, laying it over her arm and heading towards the front door like a woman on a mission.

 

“I was just joking around, Katniss,” Peeta nervously called after her. She turned to answer him before pushing the door open and walking out into the night.

 

“I wasn’t,”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONE! I hope it wasn’t disappointing! I don’t really do epilogues, so I like to leave things tied up as well as I can. At least we know Everlark is getting married one day and consummating behind closed chapters. :) THANK YOU THANK YOU to all of you that read, reviewed, favorited, followed, pm’d, told me to get my butt in gear and encouraged me! 
> 
> I am now off to finish my other stories so I can start some new ones! I am working up some really original storylines and I hope you’ll follow or favorite me as an author so you can receive the updates I post. Much love to you all and Merry Christmas to you! Pbg


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